


Retrouvailles

by sillywillydilly



Series: Moonriver [2]
Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Boyfriends, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates, True Love, bobbi - Freeform, bobbin, doubleb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillywillydilly/pseuds/sillywillydilly
Summary: A continuation of MoonriverPart 2 - Future“and I’d go on an adventure of a lifetime just to find you. Again, and again.”
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Series: Moonriver [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939816
Comments: 16
Kudos: 43





	1. Spring Has Sprung

**Author's Note:**

> Drake - Hold On We’re Going Home

**MARCH 2021**

The low hum from the air conditioner was the only thing accompanying Bobby at this hour. It was a bit chilly that night, the first bloom of Spring was still days away. He turned off the AC, but it made the room feel a bit too quiet, a bit too empty. 

His hand lazily reached for the tv remote next to the messy bed, pressing whatever button to turn on the huge device in front of him. First try was a dud, the sophisticated piece of technology wouldn’t turn on.On the second try, it led to some clicking noise yet the screen remained blank and undisturbed. Dejected, he gave up on the tv and turned the ac back on. The last thing he wanted at that moment was to use his brain or calling the front desk for such a simple matter. 

Bobby sighed and threw himself onto the bed, his bare upper torso felt the blast of chilly air from the AC above him. He shivered lightly and instinctively curled up to the side to fend off the cold. On nights like this his mind tended to wander a bit too far, a bit too dark. It didn’t help that he hadn’t heard his lover’s voice for three days now; he wondered if he truly deserved the silent treatment or was it just extreme busyness from the other party. He tried calling earlier this morning after days of staying silent himself, but the call went straight to voicemail. The only thing that was stopping him from hopping on a plane and abandoning his current gig in Busan was a picture that came an hour after, a picture of a ring worn on a dainty ring finger; a reminder that whatever happened in their life, their promise remained forever. That, and of course his common sense that if anything bad did happen then he would have already heard about it. After all, both of their managers were brothers.

Still, Bobby felt a bit sulky. 

He forced himself to get out of the comfy bed and put on the borrowed blue hoodie he had thrown on the floor since he came back from the technical rehearsal earlier. Maybe the cool ocean air would help take his mind off those dark thoughts. He’d been having more and more of it recently, something that he’d been keeping solely to himself. 

It was not because he was unhappy—quite the contrary—he felt the happiest he had been in years. And he knew he made promise to his lover not to keep secrets anymore, but this feeling was not something that he consciously understood. Like a crack that slowly formed and leaking away his calmness bit by bit, his mind wander off a darkened path and took him off guard. He attested it to over exhaustion, didn’t think that it was anything serious. But his lover noticed it from time to time, and waited for him to open up on his own. 

He noticed that the soft baby powder scent from the owner had almost dissipated the moment he put the hoodie on, a subtle cue that he had been away from home a bit too long. Yet the whiff of the weakened scent was enough to stir his heart, making him missed his lover even more. 

The huge sliding glass door slid in its railing with ease, promptly letting in a gust of wintery air in the room. It smelt fresh yet salty, as the ocean beneath it reflected the moonlight beautifully. 

Bobby leaned his arms on the railing as he stared into the distance, humming a melody that he had in his head for a while now. It felt nostalgic but he couldn’t remember if it was an old song he had heard when he was little or was it a melody playing from an old forgotten memory?

The swirling of the waves and the crashing sound of the water somehow calmed his heart a bit, reminding him that no matter how unsteady his heart felt, he always knew how to find his way back home. Like a lighthouse in the middle of a dark stormy ocean, the love they have for each other would readily show the way back to the safe shore. 

Bobby recalled the scene before he left, on the silly fight he had with his lover. Somehow, it felt even more ridiculous as time had passed. It was a small argument that went out of control, mostly fueled by lack of sleep and fatigue. Their schedules had been so hectic lately that they barely had time for themselves, let alone for each other. It was bearable in the beginning, when they promoted as a duo. But when they started their own solo projects, the new dynamic was foreign to them. Nights were spent mostly alone, even though they lived together. It felt weird waking up to an empty bed, and Bobby secretly hated it. He was so used to his lover’s warm presence and the weight of his body clinging on him that waking up without just immediately put him in a weird mood. It felt like it was a prelude to another days of missing him, and the end was nowhere in sight. 

“Missing you is a hopeless existence…,” he sang the melody softly to the night. The beacon from the lighthouse in the distance seemingly answering him with its twinkling light. 

Bobby’s mind was fixated on his one and only. _It’s just one more day, Jiwon..you’ll get to hug and kiss him again_ , he convinced himself. 

He chuckled remembering the heated discussion they had and how it could have easily be avoided if he were to just gave in to his lover’s request. 

_“I don’t want a TV in our new bedroom.”_

_“But why, Bin?”_

_“Because…! Bedroom should only be used for sleeping..and making love”—his cheeks got red for saying this—“I read studies that suggest that having TV might disrupt our intimacy, and we’re already having less sex than we used to..”_

_“..that’s because we’re both too tired lately, baby..TV has nothing to do with it..Besides, I thought you love cuddling and watching movies with me before bed?” Bobby tried to reason with a soft voice._

_“I don’t want it, and that’s final.” His lover sounded disgruntled._

_“You’re being ridiculous, Binnie—”_

_“Why do you have to disagree with everything I said lately?? Have you grown tired of me??”_

_“Bin. Stop. You’re not making any sense.” Bobby replied with a tired voice. He almost walked away but then he remembered that he was leaving in 5 minutes anyway. The last thing he wanted to do was argue before having to be apart for days._

_“That’s not exactly the reply I want to hear, Hyung.” Every words were uttered with the utmost coldness, as if it reflected the weariness in his heart._

_“Hanbin,..”—Bobby approached him and kissed him lightly on his forehead—“I don’t want to argue over this silly thing. I still think you’re gonna regret not having one in our bedroom. Trust me on this, will you?”_

_“I still think you need to change your mind,” His lover gritted his teeth, suppressing his annoyance._

_“Whatever. You’re being childish and I don’t want to argue right as I’m about to leave.”_

_Bobby picked up his duffle bag from the coffee table and right as he was about to walk out the door, he stopped and eventually turned around to face his lover._

_He approached him calmly and pulled his lover into a tight hug. His heart was telling him to give him a kiss but then his stubbornness won over._

_Irritated that his hug was not returned, Bobby left without saying a word; the first time ever he walked out their door without saying I love you._

“I really need to apologize..,” Bobby sighed. The more he thought about it, the bigger regret he felt. Not because of having his own opinion, but because he had let his anger kept him from reaching out to his lover sooner. His misery came from his own pride, and it was keeping him awake these past two nights. 

Even the gorgeous ocean view from his swanky hotel room failed to cheer Bobby up. He had wanted to walk around the beach earlier today but his schedule ended later than expected and the tide had risen by then. 

He figured he could take a warm bath to take his mind off things, so he could relax and get some sleep. He still had another performance slated for tomorrow afternoon, and his eye bags were starting to become too prominent to be covered with makeup. 

Bobby tried to call one more time, but this time it rang for a short while before it got diverted to the automated voicemail. He threw the phone on the bed, but not before he turned on the speaker volume to the max, blasting some soft R&B music that would accompany him as he relaxed in the bath. 

All of a sudden the doorbell rang, and for a moment he thought it was because he was blasting his music a bit too loud. He wasn’t expecting anyone and especially not at this hour. His tour manager had gone to sleep earlier because of a headache and none of his entourages would ring the doorbell without calling him first.

He turned off the music, thinking that was the reason. But then the person on the other side of the door knocked softly this time, before ringing the doorbell once again.

“Room service.” That person called out in a slight American accent that Bobby could easily identify. 

“That can’t be him…” Bobby ran to the door. Fumbling with the automatic chain lock, his hand trembled more than usual. Must be all the caffeine he had earlier for trying to stay awake.

Bobby opened the door impatiently, the heavy door swung inward to reveal a person standing outside the door, wearing a soft grey oversized sweater that belonged to him. 

He barely had a good look towards the person standing in front of him, but the soft lips kissing on him and a whiff of peach scented shampoo were enough to confirm his suspicion. 

“..bin,” he couldn’t get the words out because the person wouldn’t stop kissing on him. He could slightly taste the strawberry chapstick, this person must’ve slathered it on before to get his lips to feel so soft. Bobby could kiss him forever and a day, and he still wouldn’t get tired of it. 

“..babe..what.the..how..?” Bobby got more confused by the minute. He let this person pushed him onto the bed and got on top of him with ease. Bobby could feel a familiar weight shifting to below his waist as this person sat himself down on him, bodies adjoined. 

This person stared at him with an indescribable expression, a mixture of guilt and relief, annoyed yet he stared at Bobby as if he was his whole universe.

“Hanbin…” Bobby said to this person gently. He raised his hand to caress his lover’s cheek, his eyes warmly settled at his lover’s gaze.

And as if this person was craving for this tender touch, he closed his eyes to Bobby’s touch, smiling into the hand that craddled his face before kissing it in a seductive way. 

“Love..”

“Baby..”

Both spoke at the same time. 

All of a sudden, they both broke into the hugest smile, as if realizing how lame their previous argument was. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” Bobby spoke first this time.

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.. I should’ve listened to what you wanted as well.. After all, it is our bedroom, not just mine. It’s silly of me to think that an object will be able to put a strain in our relationship. And you’re right, I love cuddling with you on the bed, falling asleep watching movies..”

“Hanbin, listen. I read on it too.. I did my research..”—Bobby grinned at his lover’s shocked face—“..and you’re right. I think we shouldn’t have TV in our bedroom. We can watch movies in the living room whenever we want too, I’ll buy one of those huge cloud sofa so we can sleep there if we’re too lazy to move. And I can always carry my sleeping baby back to our bed, so I don’t mind.”

“..for real?”

“For real, for real.”

“I just don’t want us to be stuck in a rut, Jiwon. I wanna make love to you ’til we’re both old and gray..”

“They say men get another boost of stamina at 40.” Bobby said with a teasing smug on his face. 

“Who’s they?” His lover chuckled and lowered his face closer and closer to him. 

“They, them, you know, those..”

“Shut up and kiss me, silly.” The lover’s fingers curled gently on Bobby’s wrist as moved slowly and touched Bobby’s lips lightly to his, but only so slightly. Clearly inviting him for more.

“You..never fail to make me lose my mind..” 

“That’s my job. Til we’re old and grey, remember?”

“I love you, Kim Hanbin.”

“So do I, terribly and completely loving you, Kim Jiwon.”

___________________________________________________________________________________

The whole bathroom was dark, there was only a dim downlight that shone in the middle of the room. There were soft sounds of two people kissing, gently as if they were serenaded with the sound of swaying water in the large marble bathtub. The moonlight softly kissing their skin, casting a silvery glow on their faces; as if it was envious of their love. 

Soft instrumental music from Hanbin’s phone was playing from the speaker above them; the remote that Bobby was having a trouble with earlier turned out to be from a BOSE player hidden in a compartment inside the wooden panel wall. Hanbin was listening to the same playlist earlier during the impromptu plane ride from Tokyo. The almost three hours flight to Busan was filled with unexplained anxiety, probably because it was the first time he had done such thing without informing Bobby; leaving on a plane without saying I love you since the day they both left for their own respective schedules. 

Hanbin sighed into Bobby’s arms, who in turn enveloped him in a tight hug and planted a kiss on his forehead before settling them both in his comfortable embrace. Their bodies were completely submerged under the warm bubble bath, a perfect ending to their sweet reunion. The night ocean view looked spectacular through the huge window in front of the tub, a scene that somehow looked different when Bobby was still by himself. _I must’ve been so in love to be this way,_ Bobby thought as he rested his hand on Hanbin’s lean waist. They enjoyed the view and each other in silence, both were exhausted but refused to part in sleep. 

It was almost midnight, and the water was starting to turn cold. Bobby had let Hanbin played with his fingers for a while as if those were his own personal bath time toys. He chuckled whenever Hanbin tried to blow bubbles from it and failing, the soap was already too diluted to form one. 

“Should we get out? The water’s cold, babe..” Bobby scooped the last remaining bubbles and placed it on top of Hanbin’s hair, creating a faux mohawk on his now slightly longer hair. 

“..hmm..i’m way too comfy to move, Hyung..”

“But, we’ll be way comfier in bed.” Bobby said with an exaggerated alluring voice, which was replied with a rough peck on the cheek. 

“Ouch, Binnie, be gentle..”

“You’re too cute!! My baby hyung..” Hanbin clung onto Bobby’s arms and stared at him with his huge childlike smile. “Should we make our bathroom look like this?”

“Won’t we’ll be having too much bubble baths then? Shouldn’t we try to conserve water?”

“We don’t even have to take proper baths..” Hanbin said shyly, hiding his embarrassment by burying his reddened face on Bobby’s chest.

“You haven’t explained how you got here.. I thought your schedule is supposed to run ’til tomorrow?”

“Ah yeah..! Sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore your phone calls, hyung.. I was working hard so I could finish everything ahead schedule. I really, really wanted to see you soon. Hearing your voice would have just,..made me miss you even more than I already was. And I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the recording..Forgive me? I won’t do that again, I don’t think it was the right decision, the whole flight I was filled with anxiety, thinking that you would be so angry with me..”

“..I was angry, yes.. but only for a tiny while, I was more worried because I didn’t hear from you. Promise me that whatever happens in the future, no matter how angry you and I get at each other, that you at least let me know that you’re doing okay. I almost jumped on a plane to get to you but then you sent me that picture and it calmed me down a bit. I already had a tough time sleeping alone, not hearing from you was making it worse, Binnie.” 

“I promise. I’m sorry..”

“Enough apologizing, just kiss me?” Bobby held Hanbin softly on the chin, his eyes were still glazed with want as he stared at Hanbin’s soft cherry lips.

Hanbin took Bobby’s hand and wound it tightly in his, and brought it close to his lips for a kiss.

“Mine.” Hanbin whispered with his eyes closed.

“Yours.”

The music was drowned for a while by the sound of water splish-splashing in a rhythmic pattern. Soft moans were heard throughout the room, echoing in the hollow of the minimalist style bathroom. They let themselves drowned in ecstasy once more, adoration spilled through their unrestrained expression. In the private of this hotel room, they acted out their longing. They craved for other’s touch and found reassurance of their love again and again. Like the ocean that never failed to kiss the shore. 

“…baby..Hanbin..? You’re asleep..?”

“….” Hanbin only responded with a light nod and soft grunt. He already had his eyes closed, smiling satisfiedly from the high. He leaned completely into Bobby’s arms, clinging entirely and breathing softly against Bobby’s ears. 

Bobby had Hanbin securely within his arms and helped him get up from the bathtub, the bubbles were long gone but it left colorful milky water reminiscent of a bowl of milk after eating some Lucky Charms. Bobby thought of ordering it first thing in the morning for him and Hanbin, they would surely need those extra boost of sugar in the morning to replenish their energy. 

Feeling sorry for seeing Hanbin looking so exhausted, Bobby hoisted the younger’s body up and held it against him. He could hear Hanbin’s soft sigh tickling his neck, as Hanbin rested his head on his shoulder. 

“See..I can carry you to bed, no problem whatsover,” Bobby whispered and ended his sentence with a soft chuckle. 

A pair of warm lips rested against his cheek, and Bobby smiled as he laid them both on the bed. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to sleeping without you..” 

Eyes closed, they gave each other a soft, lingering goodnight kiss. 

“Me too.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________

The backstage was busy with people doing last minute preparation for the show, but Hanbin could easily spot his lover dazzling between the crowd. A stylist was doing some last minute touch-ups on his hair, adding more and more hairspray to his slicked back hair. 

Hanbin gulped seeing how sexy Bobby looked with his angry muscles underneath the tight white t-shirt, showcasing the silhouette of his perfectly chiseled body. A leather belt hung low, keeping a semi-skinny jeans in place. His style was pretty effortless and laid back that night, but that only made his star aura shined a little too bright. Hanbin could already tell that a lot of hungry eyes were eyeing his lover, wanting a piece of action from such an irresistible man. 

Hanbin was not looking that bad himself that night; quite the contrary, he seemed to have missed tiny adoring gasps from every lady staff that went past him by chance. His handsome features had gotten more pronounced the older he got, the type of face and build that people could easily appreciate without thinking. 

He was wearing a black cap to hide his face, but those who came into close proximity was able to see his handsome face clearly. They started whispering to each other, and the news spread fast among the backstage crew. 

_Both of them are here! It’s so sweet of him to come and support Bobby! They’re really that close, huh? I wonder if the rumor is true, that they’re more than just friends..? I mean, have you seen how they acted towards each other? It’s like they’re in their own world. I think they’re cute. I think they’re cute too._

Hanbin approached Bobby silently, still admiring how beautifully handsome his boyfriend looked that night. It didn’t take long for Bobby to realize Hanbin’s presence, watching him from a slight distance. Bobby’s face broke into a silly grin and it automatically made Hanbin smile. He had his arms outstretched towards Hanbin, ready to pull him into a hug. 

Hanbin thought it was going to be one of those quick sideways hug, but Bobby kept him tucked under his arm for a long time. His hand was firmly gripping onto Hanbin’s waist as the stylist was still busy messing with the hair. As if letting people know Hanbin was his. 

It used to be the opposite, Hanbin was way more showy back then. But this change of demeanor in Bobby was something that always made Hanbin question himself, is it possible to literally feel your love growing? He often felt a strange sensation in his chest these days, like his heart was struggling to expand to accommodate an uncontrollable feeling. A terribly scary feeling of falling deeper and deeper in love. 

The crowd was starting to get impatient, they were chanting Bobby’s name and it was starting to get louder and louder by the minute. The stylist was finally satisfied with the look and left both of them alone. 

It was three minutes until show time, and Hanbin had been waiting patiently by Bobby’s side, silently playing with his phone to hide his lovestruck grin. 

“Bin..” 

Bobby dragged him to a small space that was used as his makeshift changing room earlier. He closed the thin curtain behind them and all of sudden it was just the two of them again, completely hidden from prying eyes. 

Bobby gave him a hard kiss, one that always managed to take his breath away. Hands roaming to his backside, keeping their bodies close and pressed against each other. Hanbin didn’t struggle one bit, he welcomed all of this affection, although it made him want to pounce on Bobby and make love to him right then and there. 

“One minute!” Someone screamed from outside the curtain. “Has anyone seen Bobby?” 

“Will you introduce me?” Bobby released himself from the kiss, still panting, still wanting. But this kiss was enough for now. It hyped him up more than his usual two cans of energy drink. Maybe because it’s Hanbin. Maybe because he loved him. 

“…yes!” Hanbin gave him a slight peck on Bobby’s lips before they both exited the curtain. 

Bobby signaled to the crew that Hanbin would be the one making his introduction. 

“Go get ‘em, Bunny!” Hanbin tapped Bobby’s butt playfully and gave him a hug. Bobby gave him a quick thumbs up before disappearing into the other side of the backstage where he would enter the stage using a lifting platform.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my man, Bobby!!”

The words were echoing in Hanbin’s head as he spoke it with confidence. This time, he meant every words literally. He was beaming with pride, his dimples stretched wide on both cheeks, glad that he could introduce his lover’s name once again.

The screaming from the crowd intensified when the first beat dropped, a tap on the mic and a husky voice calling out, “Yo, it’s your man, Bobby.”

Hanbin made his way between the concert goers, wanting to experience Bobby’s performance in its rawest form. He had changed his clothes and put on a mask to make himself unrecognizable and finally settling on a spot in the middle of the exhibition hall. 

He was enjoying every minute of it, seeing Bobby performed with such a high energy; knowing that he had part of it somewhat. 

The music slowed down on the second part of the set. From the looping intro, Hanbin already knew what song it would be. After all he always had the privilege to be the first person to hear every new song Bobby had finished. But right when the first verse was about to start, Bobby made a gesture to the sound crew to stop the music. It was all rehearsed of course, but Hanbin didn’t know that. 

Someone brought an acoustic guitar on stage and handed it to him, accompanied with a huge cheer from the crowd. 

“I don’t do this a lot, ‘cos I’m not that confident with my guitar playing skill,”—that statement was met with a loud disagreement from the enthusiastic crowd—“I’m serious guys, I’m no Ed Sheeran, but I’ll try.” Bobby smiled shyly as he put on the guitar strap on him.

“You know a lot of girls be, thinkin’ my songs are about them…You guys know it’s a line from Drake, right?” Bobby was not done teasing the crowd.

Bobby chuckled hearing their mixed answers, “Okay..okay..Well, tonight it’s gonna be my personal line. I’m not quoting anybody, just in case anyone is confused,” He said all these with a playful grin.

“I borrowed this awesome guitar from one of the crew, thanks Jiho hyung! I woke up this morning thinking that I should perform this next song in a more special way. I only did an impromptu rehearsal earlier, so forgive me in advance if I’m making any mistakes on the guitar. Okay, enough talking! But before that I just want to say, Baby, this one is for you! Let’s get it!”

The light dimmed again as Bobby made his first strum. The crowd was still wild from his words, his fanboys were cheering and some fangirls could be heard squealing “How romantic!”.

Bobby started singing with his raw voice, husky yet sweet. The noise died down as if they were immediately hypnotised. 

His fingers moved expertly on the guitar, picking the strings like he had been doing it for years. 

_Even when the sky comes falling  
Even when the sun don't shine  
I got faith in you and I  
So put your pretty little hand in mine  
Even when we're down to the wire baby  
Even when it's do or die  
We could do it baby, simple and plain  
'Cause this love is a sure thing_

A quick rendition of Miguel’s Sure Thing was followed with the new song from his mini album. “It was inspired by you,” Hanbin was told. 

Hanbin could’ve sworn Bobby was looking at him the entire time. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“Jiwon..Jiwonnie..” Hanbin called out in a sing-songy voice. He just got back from the hotel gym after doing a quick workout while Bobby was still asleep.

The room was empty, and there was no sign of Bobby anywhere aside from his backpack on top of the messy blanket. The big suitcase was already taken by Bobby’s manager, who had gone back to Seoul earlier that morning to attend meetings alongside Hanbin’s manager. It seemed like the news had traveled all the way to Seoul and they were receiving multiple offers to perform as a duo in the upcoming months. 

The performance last night was a huge success, Bobby had to do multiple encores to satisfy the thirsty crowd. And then there was an after party with the tour promoter and they had no way out of it. Both were exhausted by the time they got back to the hotel that they immediately crashed out after taking a quick shower together. 

“Jiwon..?” 

By then he noticed that the sliding glass door to the balcony was slightly ajar, and a familiar back was leaning on the railing, still in the same bathrobe that he had worn to bed last night. 

“Baby..” Hanbin called out once again, and this time he finally found the person he was looking for.

Bobby turned around and gave him a huge smile, “You’re back.”

Hanbin was already standing behind him when Bobby said so, wrapping his arms around his waist in a tight back hug. He rested his forehead on Bobby’s hard back before going in for a kiss. 

“I had a good workout.”

“I can tell,”—Bobby chuckled—“..by the smell.” Clearly teasing Hanbin because he himself was holding on to Hanbin’s arms tight, enjoying the affection.

“Help me wash it off then…” Hanbin said with his cutesy voice, the one he reserved just for his lover.

“Shower, or bubble bath…?” Bobby took Hanbin’s hands and interlaced it with his. Their mismatched couple rings caught the sunlight so beautifully. 

“…umm..both?”

“You’re one greedy baby, Binnie.”

“Only for you, only about you.” Hanbin grinned. 

“I’m glad that you made all those sacrifices just to see me. Thank you, Hanbin.” Bobby kissed the back of Hanbin’s hand. “I love you.”

“…you’re gonna make us miss our flight with all your sweet words. You know what it does to me..” 

“Sorry..shower?”

“Shower. Bubble bath later at home ‘cos you promised me both. And I love you love you, more than you’ll ever know.” 

Bobby nodded while trying to suppress a smile, amused at Hanbin’s random cute expression.

Hanbin tried to pinch Bobby’s waist to get back at him, but Bobby moved way too fast and was able to release himself from the back hug in a jiffy. 

“..Come back here, you!” He chased Bobby back into the room and tackled him onto the bed, giggling and laughing like how they always were, two young boys who had big dreams. Past, present, and future. 

“Let’s shower and then head home.”

“Yeah, to our home.”


	2. 21 Grams and Daltokki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mood: 
> 
> Early Autumn - Anita O’Day
> 
> Unforgettable - Nat King Cole

**MID SEPTEMBER 2021**

The large heavy door opened and closed with a melodious tone, a familiar sound that broke the silence inside the house as its automated light came to life. A patch of wet spot formed on the entryway rug, dripping from the wet windbreaker the owner was wearing. 

Anyone who stepped inside the foyer would have known immediately who the residents of this house were; their silly pictures together were proudly displayed in a row of mismatched frames on top of the foyer cabinet. Neatly stacked book of poems served as a stand for a very special picture of theirs, the one where they held a trophy in their hands, an award they had just received last month. A long pouch filled with travel documents and foreign currencies sat next to it, Hanbin must’ve placed it there so they wouldn’t forget. Two matching suitcases,—one in silver, one in black— parked next to the entryway, making the hallway looked more crowded than usual. All packed and ready to go for their early flight tomorrow. 

Bobby took off his shoes and shoved it under the cabinet, making a mental note to pack it inside his suitcase. Their growing number of sneakers had taken a whole entire room by itself in their previous apartment but they hadn’t had the time to fully unpack in this house. He thought of hiring a professional helper to help them with all that but Hanbin had flat out refused. 

_“But unpacking is such a romantic couple activity, Bobby hyung! How many times in our lifetime will we be able to feel the excitement of unpacking for our first home! Just once, am I right?!”_

Bobby just couldn’t say no to such a compelling argument. But then it resulted to them having a lot of their belongings still in packing boxes even after a couple of weeks of moving in because they both had been too busy to do the unpacking. He didn’t mind though, he was looking forward to this “romantic activity” that Hanbin had in mind. 

A ceramic catchall from a vintage store nearby clinked as it caught some loose change from his jacket pocket and his favorite Casio watch. He looked at the time one more time and realized that it was already so late. Hanbin’s schedule should’ve ended around the same time as his but apparently it ran longer than expected. 

The minimalist modern house still looked empty as they were still waiting for furnitures that were yet to arrive but their living room had been finished since the day they moved in. It looked warm and inviting with its creamy white sofa and a light grey plushy rug underneath, a dark wood coffee table housing a diffuser that gently released a soft relaxing lavender and chamomile scent. It was their favorite spot in the house for the moment, as they waited for their bedroom to be finished decorated. Hanbin had ordered a custom Hästens bed from overseas and it had been months since but it still hadn’t arrived. So the living room served as their makeshift bedroom for now, but there was really nothing to complain about. Waking up everyday with a view of the sea from the large oversized window was quite the pleasure. 

A huge flower painting done similarly to the famous Bosschaert style decorated the high wall that separated the living room from the foyer. Underneath it a pair of Rick and Morty Bearbrick figures stood on the either side of a Banksy Flower Bomber, all three perched up on a fake mantelpiece that served to disguise the TV while not in use. Warm mood lighting were spread cleverly in the spacious room to create such a calming ambiance, all it needed was soft music playing in the background to complete the mood. 

Despite the unfinished decor, this house already felt like home to both of them. It felt like a collision of two characters merging ceremoniously into one, a mishmash of things that felt just right. Like somehow everything had found its place despite the odds. Like everything was meant to be.

Bobby made his way to the living room after a quick detour to the kitchen, sighing with every step. His body felt achy after a long day of multiple meetings, he kept on rotating his shoulder to release the tension. He was thinking of soaking in an epsom salt bath to unravel all the persistent knots above his ribcage but he felt a bit off since he left the dinner party earlier. He left the fancy restaurant still feeling quite hungry, not really liking the selections of food that was chosen by the host. He ate it out of courtesy, but now he was starting to regret that decision. There was still a faint seafood-y taste lingering in his mouth, although he was quite sure that he didn’t eat any. It reminded him of the foul smell of _kkanari aecjeot,_ the one he had to unfortunately taste as a punishment during a Japan show taping years ago. He was sure he didn’t eat any seafood earlier, but now he remembered tasting the fishy smell from the _gamjatang_ fusion dish that was cooked in a fancy style that he was not familiar with.

The cloud sofa that he had promised to buy served its purpose well as he sank into the fluffy cushions, it enveloped his body and felt like a warm gentle hug. Although it didn’t quite embody the real warm hug that he lived for, it was a good substitute for now. He reached for the blanket that was neatly folded next to him and curled up even further, trying to distract himself from a pounding headache that had been bothering him for the past half an hour. 

Bobby always hated throwing up, to the point where he would rather held it in and let it pass. But sometimes such method wouldn’t always work, and today was one of those days. 

He felt his stomach churned and ran to the bathroom as quickly as he could, almost stumbling along the way. The hallway to the bedroom was littered with a bunch of heavy cardboard boxes, still waiting to be unpacked. It felt like a maze when he was already feeling awful and dizzy. He had to maneuver his way around with one hand covering the mouth, it felt like the pressure was already building at the back of his throat. 

Bobby didn’t even think to turn on the light, he felt his way inside the dark bathroom and vomited into the toilet bowl the second he located it. His fingers clenched on the side of the bowl, eyes were starting to tear up from all the involuntary retching. 

He felt like he was throwing up all the food he ate earlier, and maybe some of his lunch too. Yet the thought that crossed his mind at that moment was, _Is this the kind of pain pregnant women have to endure every morning? I have to call eomma and tell her I love her.._

He was feeling a lot better though. At least he could no longer taste the fishy smell in his mouth. Although it was replaced with an unpleasant sour taste, but to him anything was a lot better than seafood anyway. 

His fingers slightly trembled as he tried to steady himself to turn on the bathroom light. He was lucky he got there in time otherwise there would be a mess to clean up and just imagining it made him retch again. He rinsed his mouth in the sink and gargled with mouthwash to get rid of the sour taste, and then figured he should just take a shower and brush his teeth instead while he was already in the bathroom. He staggered slowly to the open shower, head still hazy that he forgot to remove his clothing. 

The moment the cold water from the rain shower head hit his skin, he realized that he was still fully dressed, minus the windbreaker he had left in the foyer earlier. He was lucky his cellphone was left inside its pocket, the shiny purple phone wasn’t designed to be water resistant after all.

“Ugh Hanbinnie..Hanbin..,” he grumbled as he called out his lover’s name, wishing for Hanbin to comfort him. 

He wasn’t aware of this habit until Jinhwan pointed it out during their trainee years, that Hanbin was always the first person he would run to whenever he needed to be comforted. A simple hug that turned into a sweet lingering kiss, he needed Hanbin as much as Hanbin needed him. Bobby sought after his warm touches as much as Hanbin was ready to give it, and the need got stronger whenever he was feeling unwell. 

He left the soaked clothing on the floor, did a quick thorough wash and grabbed the warm blanket from the heated towel rail. He once thought it was silly of Hanbin to have it installed but now he was thankful for it. The feeling of warmed towel on his shivering body was so relaxing, he couldn’t be bothered to look for his sleep shirt and wrapped himself in it instead as he made his way back to the living room.

“Why aren’t you home yet, Binnie…” 

Bobby curled himself in the warmth of the blanket once again, thinking of texting Hanbin to say goodnight but he was already too sleepy and too comfortable to move away from the sofa. He did a quick prayer before he closed his eyes, for Hanbin to return home safely to him. _It’d be nice to wake up in your arms._

The sound of rain pattering gently against the window slowly lulled him to sleep, taking him into dreamland the moment he said Amen. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“And…cut! That’s a wrap everyone!” The sound of clapperboard signalled the end of shoot day. 

Hanbin bowed to the fellow actors and said good job to the crew before moving away from the set to find his manager. 

“What time is it, Hyunwoo?” Hanbin asked in a monotone voice while removing the tight fitting blazer and gave it to the stylist who was waiting patiently beside him.

“It’s 2:30 AM, hyung.” The fresh faced manager named Hyunwoo was ready with Hanbin’s jacket and put it on him as Hanbin sipped on the prepared hot tea to warm his body up. 

“Good job, Hanbinah! I really like how you added your own adlib for that last scene. You’re such a natural! Must have had a lot of practice with your girlfriend? I bet you she’ll be jealous when she sees that?” The director suddenly approached Hanbin and gave him a huge pat on his back.

“Ah, director-nim. Thank you so much.” Hanbin only smiled shyly. 

“A bit of jealousy is needed to spice things up, no?” The director was relentless in teasing him. 

“Uhm..my partner isn’t exactly the jealous type, hyungnim..”

“Hahaha! Maybe because you’ve been showering her with too much love then! Well, I’m really looking forward to work with you again in the future! Good luck on your new album, is it coming this fall?”

“Thank you, it’ll be released on my birthday a month from now, hyungnim. I’ll make sure to send it to you. Thank you once again for this opportunity, hyungnim. I’m really honored to act as a cameo in your movie.” Hanbin bowed deeply to show his gratitude. 

“Don’t mention it, kid! I always thought your face shows up well on screen, and now that I’ve seen you act, I’m thinking of involving you in my next project.” 

“I’ll make sure to brush up on my acting skill, hyungnim.” 

“Say my regards to Bobby, will you? He should join you next time too. I really like that kid, that Bobby. Wild and full of confidence. I really like that. Well, I better get going.” He patted Hanbin one more time and left Hanbin with a silly grin on his face. He couldn’t help but beaming with pride whenever anyone praised him and his lover. 

“Hyung..? Ready to go home?” Hyunwoo’s voice broke the grin from Hanbin’s face as he returned from his daydream.

“Have you heard from Gunwoo? Is Bobby back home yet?” 

Hanbin unbuttoned the collar and sleeve and ruffled the slicked back hair in a rather irritated manner. He had been waiting for a reply that never arrived. A simple good night text that he was looking forward to.

Ever since the twins managed both of them, it was easier to keep track on each other’s schedules. The twins came to Seoul just about a year ago, around the time when Bobby and Hanbin were debuting as a duo. They had just finished college in the US where they were from, and came to Seoul for their gap year. As their parents were good friends from way back, Hanbin had met them several times and eventually they all became good friends. He introduced them to Bobby and after many considerations, they decided to hire both of the twins as their managers. 

“He told me he drove Bobby home after a dinner party in Gangnam at around 1 AM.”

“Why isn’t he texting me back..” Hanbin said in a sulky tone.

“Maybe he fell asleep? Gunwoo did mention Bobby got really silent after dinner, he thought Bobby looked sleepy or maybe tired?”

“But he always text me good night whenever we have separate schedules..Anyway, you both are leaving for Seattle this morning, right?” Both Hanbin and Hyunwoo were making their way to the car. Hanbin walked rather hurriedly while Hyunwoo was trailing behind.

“Yeah, our flight is in couple hours..Gunwoo has been so nervous these past couple of days, he almost put on mismatched shoes this morning, hyung.” 

Hyunwoo tried to make small talks to distract Hanbin. He noticed that Hanbin got agitated easily when it came to Bobby. The twins knew Bobby and Hanbin were living together and of course speculated about the kind of relationship they had, but both didn’t pry more than necessary.

Hanbin was thoroughly amused throughout the trip back home at the most random stories that Hyunwoo came up with. He was such a good storyteller that Hanbin didn’t realize that they had arrived home. 

“I’d be nervous too if I’m getting married. Safe drive back home, Hyunwoo. I’ll see both of you in a couple of days!”

Hanbin made his way slowly through the garden pavement, sighing at the sight of dim lighting from the window of their living room. He was trying to decide if he should carry on with his sulkiness or he should just let it go. He moved back the ring that was previously worn on his index finger back to where it belonged before he punched in the code on the door handle.

He still couldn’t decide when he entered the foyer quietly, knowing that Bobby most probably had already fallen asleep in the living room. He hung his wool jacket next to Bobby’s and went straight to the bathroom, highly unusual move for him but he was determined. He did however, glanced a little and saw a tuft of hair peeking from underneath the blanket they usually shared together. Still annoyed, he thought of getting a spare blanket from the guest room so he wouldn’t have to wake Bobby up. 

The bathroom light was on when he entered, but he didn’t think too much of it. He took his time cleaning the makeup from his face and brushing his teeth as he listened attentively to Junhwan’s new demo that they had sent earlier that afternoon. He rewinded it a couple more times to further dissect the musical layers and smiled as he liked what he was hearing. 

It was not until he was about to shower and saw Bobby’s wet clothes on the floor that he realized that something was off. 

He half ran across the bathroom to grab the bathrobe that was hanging behind the door, forgoing the hot shower that he had been anticipating earlier. He wasn’t even sure if seeing those clothes on the floor warranted this type of reaction but when it came to Bobby, he just couldn’t think straight. Bobby wasn’t behaving normally that night and he just came into that realization. 

His hair got disheveled as he moved hurriedly, almost cursing out loud when he stubbed his big toe on one of the boxes. He wobbled to where Bobby was sleeping and sat carefully next to him. 

The lighting was minimal, it was hard to make out Bobby’s face but Hanbin could tell he was already asleep. He touched his face gently to make sure and felt beads of cold sweat on Bobby’s forehead. 

“Are you sick baby…?” The trees outside swaying in the wind as if nodding to his question.

Bobby’s skin felt feverish, he squirmed and groaned in his sleep as he welcomed Hanbin’s sudden touch. Hanbin caressed him lightly, sweeping away the bangs that was covering his face. And it was as if Bobby knew, he sighed contently into Hanbin’s hand. 

“Jiwon?” Hanbin called out with a soft voice. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

_“I’m home, Bobby hyung,” Hanbin greets with a smile._

_Bobby is too nervous to reply but he tries hiding it with the biggest grin he can muster._

_“Why are you smiling like that? Are you that happy to see me??” Hanbin inches forward to give Bobby a kiss, still unaware of what’s going on._

_“Hmm..I miss you..” Hanbin apparently thinks it’s time to cuddle while Bobby is desperately trying to kick away the box under the rug that is now inches behind Hanbin’s right foot._

_“Why are you wriggling like that, babe, stop squirming..,What was that sound?”_

_Bobby manages to get the box out from the rug and pushes it carefully under the couch. He sweeps Hanbin off his feet and kisses him deeply to distract him one more time._

_“..do it again, why stop..”_

_“I miss you too..But I need to go pick up the birthday cake for my birthday boy..”_

_“Can’t they just deliver it instead? Don’t go, hyung..”_

_“….okay. Stop giving me the puppy eyes..” Bobby laughs at how easy he gets persuaded by Hanbin._

_“Let me give them a call to let them know that we’re just gonna pick it up on the way to your parents’. Give me a second, baby.”_

_Bobby gestures his way to the balcony to make the phone call so Hanbin goes to the kitchen to prepare their early dinner. He was busy pouring out the hot spinach noodles on two matching bowls that he doesn’t notice how Bobby is crouching over the couch in a weird manner as if trying to grab something from underneath. Bobby checks on Hanbin to make sure he didn’t see and then acts as if he just came from outside._

_“Done and done,”—the sliding door closes with a huge thud—“yum, I can smell the noodles from here already. Thanks for picking it up!”_

_“Hyung said hi,” Hanbin hands Bobby the chopstick._

_They slurp the noodle happily in no time, while talking and exchanging details about their day. Bobby is leaving out the very important part though, but he can feel the box pressing on him inside his jeans pocket. Waiting for its chance to shine._

_Hanbin stops chewing and stares at Bobby lovingly._

_“You’re such a messy eater, baby.” Hanbin wipes the wandering piece of noodle from Bobby’s face and eats it._

_It was such a simple gesture, but one that makes Bobby’s heart flutters. It was exactly the trigger that he needs._

_Bobby gets up from his chair and gets down on one knee._

_“Wait, what’s going on..?” Panic sets in Hanbin’s voice._

_“Do you remember our first time? It was a disaster, wasn’t it? I bit you so hard on your lips that you bled and had scabs for days. Yet when it happened, you only smiled at me and continued on kissing me. From that point on forward, I swore to myself I won’t hurt you anymore. But I did it again, didn’t I? But you..”—Bobby starts to choke on his words—“..you keep forgiving me continuously. Not just for that, for many other things. I… I’m sorry we’re not on a yacht with a gorgeous view, or at the top of the mountain looking over the city, I didn’t prepare this beforehand because I didn’t plan to give it this early..”_

_Bobby takes out the box from his pocket and opens it up in front of Hanbin, who gasps the moment he sees what’s inside._

_“…I’m not asking you to marry me..not yet. This ring is just a placeholder until that day comes, my forever promise to you. We’re not on a yacht but I’ll swim the ocean for you..I’d climb to the highest mountaintop with you. Be mine, forever?”_

_“Is this…” Hanbin can’t finish his words. His throat tightens._

_Hanbin’s hand reaches out to get the ring out the box, shaking as he does. He moves slowly as if he’s forgetting how to move, as if his limbs got softened along with his emotion._

_“…the flower I gave you in Jeju?” Bobby nods as he studies all the different emotions that is being displayed in front of him. Grateful, overwhelmed, happy, in love._

_“..what does it say inside.. **your Daltokki..**? Jiwon, you..” His first tear falls on Bobby’s hand. _

_“..may I?” Bobby takes it from Hanbin’s hand and slides it gently onto Hanbin’s ring finger. Slowly, he lowers his head and gives it a kiss. “하늘만큼 땅만큼 사랑해, Hanbin.”_

_“..wait here. Wait here Jiwon, don’t go anywhere.”_

_Hanbin runs to their bedroom, leaving a slightly confused Bobby who is still kneeling on the floor. He can hear rustling sound from the sound of drawers being opened and close, and then Hanbin’s hurried footsteps that slows down as he nears._

_“Jiwon.. I was going to give this to you for your birthday, but…I want you to wear it sooner..” Breathless he describes as he too, gets on his knee._

_They are now facing each other on the kitchen floor, really quite a weird sight to see but both boys are brimming with love for each other._

 _“I made this on my own..so it might not look perfect. But I can promise you my love for you is, perfect. I might be full of flaws, but my feelings for you has never been less than full. It always blooms, the way you inspire me, the way you move me. I love you. With all my heart and soul.”_

_The ring is not presented in a box, but rather a handmade leather pouch with their initials on it. KJKH. It’s a gorgeous purple cloisonne ring Hanbin made during a trip to Ungdo-ri with his family. Like he said, it’s not perfect, the shape looks amateurishly made, but he knows he puts his love into it._

_He slides it effortlessly on Bobby’s ring finger, who is still in shock for words._

_“It says **21g** inside. They say that the weight of a soul is approximately that. Now that you have this ring, you’re carrying my soul with you at all times. I love you. I want you to be mine forever too, Jiwon.”_

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“Jiwon..Jiwon..”

Bobby opened his eyes and found himself in Hanbin’s familiar arms. He snuggled against Hanbin’s neck and smiled, “I had a wonderful dream, Binnie.”

“Was I in it?”

“You’re the main character. I was dreaming of when we gave each other our rings. A year went by so fast, Binnie. You’re no longer a baby..”

“What are you saying, I have not been a baby in a long time,” Hanbin chuckled.

“..but you still look like one..—Jiwon glanced at Hanbin’s face and saw him still in a slicked back hair and sharp undercut albeit looking a bit messy,—“well.. I take that back.”

“You look babier than me. Why are you sleeping with a towel, hyung. You’ll catch a cold this way. On second thought, your body already feels hot. You’re sick aren’t you?”

“I threw up earlier..Ugh, Bin, I feel awful.”

“Total bedrest for you tomorrow then. You’re not leaving this couch, you understand.” Hanbin’s voice sounded stern but his gesture was the total opposite. He kept on patting Bobby’s back lovingly and kissed him gently on his eyelids. Even that part felt hot. 

“..but we have to fly tomorrow?”

“Silly Jiwon, our flight is on Saturday. Well..technically you’re not wrong, it is tomorrow cos it’s already 3 am on a Friday morning. But we both have a day off before the trip. I thought I mentioned this to you before I left earlier, we’ll finally have time to unpack? Well forget unpacking, I’ll make sure you’ll be healthy by Saturday.”

“Wait, I’m confused. My head hurts.”

“Hyunwoo and Gunwoo are leaving first because they need to prepare for Gunwoo’s wedding, they’re the ones leaving this morning,” Hanbin tried to explain in the simplest manner. 

“….”

“Are you sure it’s not food poisoning? Remember you told me you ate that funky tasting chicken in your burrito last night?”

“Maybe..I thought it was because I ate something fishy earlier.”

“Drink this and sleep baby,” Hanbin handed Bobby a handful of medication alongside a tall glass of warm water. 

“I wonder if I can continue the dream..” Bobby yawned and wriggled his way back into Hanbin’s arms after he finished taking the pills. 

“You want to dream an R-rated dream? I’m jealous.”

“Jealous of your own self?” Bobby asked in a sleepy voice.

“Sleep tight baby, let’s meet in our dreams.” 

Hanbin kissed his lips one more time but judging from the lack of response it seemed that Bobby had already fallen asleep.

He turned on the music player from his phone, set a song to be played in a loop.

**That’s why darling, it’s incredible. That someone so unforgettable.. thinks that I am, unforgettable too..**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Belated Birthday Hanbinnie!


	3. Ripples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood: Eric Benet feat. Tamia - Spend My Life With You

**SATURDAY, September 18th, 2021  
4:15 AM KST (Korea Standard Time)**

The smooth low hum from the plane engine was luring Hanbin to sleep. They were still on the first hour of the ten plus hours flight but Hanbin had already finished completing the custom declaration form for both him and Bobby. He smiled gently at the sight of his lover sleeping soundly next to him, relieved that he managed to nurse him back to health. His lips and cheeks were finally back to its reddish color, inviting Hanbin for a quick good night kiss. He approached Bobby slowly after making sure no one was around — the suite door on their first class seats provided an added security after all— and kissed those lips gently alongside a softly whispered I love you. 

Bobby had recovered nicely thanks to Hanbin’s meticulous effort to the slew of home remedies instruction that he received from his mom through the phone. A huge cup of warm ginger tea every two hours coupled with small portions of several kinds of bland food that he fed to Bobby patiently; all the while having to fend off Bobby’s alluring offer to just cuddle with him and sleep. 

_It took Hanbin a great amount of time everytime he had to remove himself from such a comfortable position, especially when Bobby was being overly cuddly and needy. The way Bobby whispered “Hanbin, don’t go..” with a husky voice and glassy eyes tugged mercilessly on every imaginary heartstrings in his body. He almost succumbed to the request, wanting to nibble on that pouty lower lip so badly, to wound their bodies tightly together so he too, could share the fever heat and burn in pleasure. But then he had to remind himself that he still needed to get errands done before their flight; get their pressed suits from the dry cleaners and buy Dakjuk to help soothe Bobby’s fever on the way back._

_“Can’t you just have both delivered,..?” Bobby pleaded, arms clung tightly on Hanbin’s waist as if it was not already hard for Hanbin to go._

_“Be a good boy and wait for me, I’ll be back soon..” Hanbin bit his own lip —trying hard to not entertain his naughty thoughts— while removing Bobby’s hand gently. He fixed the blanket so it would cover Bobby’s shivering body snugly; and after he was satisfied with how it cocooned every inch of Bobby’s body, he gave a lingering peck on the feverish forehead. Bobby was already half asleep again by then, pouting a little as if he wanted to make Hanbin regret leaving him behind._

_Hanbin knew then he couldn’t leave without at least a kiss from that pouty lips, so he gave a gentle one to the sleeping man. And another. And just one more for good measure._

_“I’ll be back soon, love.”_

_Another reason why Hanbin insisted on going was because he just remembered that he left his international driving permit at his parents’ house. He wanted to surprise Bobby and had rented a car to drive around in Seattle. He couldn’t wait to drive them around the city, exploring new areas that were new to both of them. It was their first overseas trip as a regular couple after all, not as Bobby and BI but as Kim Jiwon and Kim Hanbin._

_His parents’ house was empty when he arrived, there were only the echoes of his steps that accompanied him as he walked hurriedly to his childhood bedroom. His parents and sister were already on their way to the States, leaving earlier last night to meet up with the twins’ parents who just so happened to be their longtime friends. They would be staying at a different hotel a couple blocks away from Hanbin and Bobby as theirs was courtesy of the twins’ parents. Hanbin smiled thinking of how excited Byul was for this overdue overseas trip, she sent him multiple smiling selfies before the plane took off and Hanbin had it set as his phone wallpaper the moment he received it._

_The permit was just where he left it last time, on top of the bedside table underneath a classic poetry book he was planning to bring on the plane. He picked both in a hurry and a piece of paper fell and hit his toes. It was stuck between the pages of the book, alongside messy scribbles of half-done lyrics. He didn’t remember much of it but he must’ve wrote that while waiting for the permit to be done at the licensing office. On top of the paper there was a writing of his most favorite part of the poem The Flower by Kim Chun-Soo;_

_**We all long to be something.  
You, to me, and I, to you,  
long to become a gaze that won’t be forgotten.** _

_____________________________________________________________________________________

**FRIDAY, September 17th, 2021.  
10:00 PM PDT (Pacific Daylight Time) / SATURDAY, September 18th, 2021 2:00 PM KST **

The clock at the SeaTac airport was showing exactly 10:00 pm Seattle time on a Friday after they got done retrieving their black and silver luggages from the slowly moving conveyer belt. They technically went back in time due to the time difference and Hanbin still found it fascinating every time. 

The black adjoining benches around them was filled with people, —mostly clad in windbreaker and light fleece jacket— eagerly waiting for their loved ones to arrive. Most of them seemed to be in a good mood despite the heavy rain outside. It was, after all, the kind of weather Seattleites were used to. No umbrella on sights either, it was pretty uncommon for them to rely on one unless it was absolutely necessary. The daylight saving time wouldn’t end until a couple months later yet despite that the early autumn feel could already be felt in the air. 

“Over here Bobby hyung..!”

Hanbin gestured the way to the left, towards the south end of the terminal where the bus shuttles were located. He lead Bobby gently by the hand, making sure that he didn’t walk too fast and looked too giddy even though he was overflowing with excitement imagining Bobby’s reaction to the rental car. 

“Aren’t we taking the taxi?” Bobby replied confusedly. He had a good sleep on the plane and although he no longer felt nauseous, he still felt a bit off. He leaned onto Hanbin every chance he could, and held on to Hanbin’s arms loosely. A gesture that looked a bit too intimate for two grown men but here in the States they had all the anonymity and freedom to do so. Still, he followed Hanbin with no complaints. 

Their matching Black and silver Rimowa glided with ease on the rough pavement. The rainy city seemed to be welcoming both of them when the rain eased off and left with only a light drizzle spattering gently on their faces as they made their way outside. The crisp and cool air was refreshing as Seattle had gotten a bit colder than Seoul during this time of the year, and minus the humidity as well. Bobby shivered a bit when a gust of cold wind went past them, and Hanbin instinctively grabbed his shoulder to pull him closer. 

“…Bin, this is the shuttle for the car rental, not the hotel. We’re going the wrong way, hold on let me ask someone,” 

“Trust me, hyung. I know where we’re going.”

“…did you rent..?..”

The shuttle bus arrived with a loud screeching halt before Hanbin got a chance to answer. He only smiled in a very mischievous way and Bobby sort of got the gist already. 

The ride to the car rental facility was a short one, and Bobby still couldn’t believe it. He watched with a happy smile from the waiting area as Hanbin conversed confidently in English with the rental manager. Not 5 minutes later, they already got the key for their rental and walked hand in hand to the assigned parking lot. 

“M32..M32..ah there it is next to the silver Jeep!” Hanbin exclaimed. 

A shiny black Mustang GT parked on the spot, waiting for them. 

“Woahh…..Ya! Kim Hanbin, jinjja meositta! Babe, you’re cooler than I thought!” Bobby smiled so hard his eyes disappeared. 

_“Oppa bought a new car, I’ll pick you up  
Baby Let’s ride, hurry come out!  
Get on, let’s ride, wherever is ok  
Baby Let’s ride Let’s do it All night  
I told you all the time,  
that I’d make money and pick you up”_

Hanbin rapped the old nostalgic song with an apparent twinkle in his eyes. Bobby’s reaction was just like what he expected, if not better. He made a mental note to do this kind of thing more often in the future, he really liked what he was seeing. Seeing Bobby happy made him happy, it never changed throughout the years, the feelings stayed the same. 

“Ya! I’m jealous! I should’ve taken the driving license too when you did! I had no idea you applied for the international permit, when did you do it?”

“That time when you were busy preparing for the show in Busan. I wanted to surprise you, hyung.. Do you like it?” Hanbin’s dimples were stretched across his face in a wide grin. He went in for a kiss and got one before he had even requested. 

He turned on the engine and it roared with such gusto, the silent parking lot came to live the moment he did. Bobby immediately tinkered with the car’s GPS trying to get the direction to their hotel while Hanbin was still admiring the interior of this American muscle car. 

“Should we get one in Korea? I saw one near Itaewon once and thought you and I would look really cool in it. I was so glad when I saw it was in the rental options.” 

“…depends on how it rides. But I like this car too. It’s even nicer now that I’m sitting inside one. Let’s take it for a spin, Binnie!”

“Buckle up, baby!” 

It took Hanbin quite a few minutes to adjust steering the powerful car, he had a bit of difficulty maneuvering the way out of the circular ramp. The road out of SeaTac led straight to the highway and Hanbin could feel his nervous sweat starting to form on the base of his neck. 

“Wow, Binnie..you’re frickin awesome..” Bobby couldn’t hide his adoration. He pinched on Hanbin’s cheek lovingly. 

Living life as idols since they were young made simple moments like this much more meaningful to both of them. Driving in a new country, taking private couple trips overseas, those were luxuries they didn’t think they could have experienced so soon in their career. 

Sometimes they wondered what life would be if they met as regular people, would they still be delighted about these matters? Would they still choose to be with each other? Or was this path that was laid out for them became a convenient cause for their love?

Bobby’s sincere compliment gave Hanbin a new boost of confidence. He relaxed his grip on the steering wheel, letting the car glided along I-5 steadily.

“Am I going to slow? Why are all these cars passing us by?? Hyung?”

“What’s the speed limit..60..? Go faster than that, just make sure you don’t pass 70, Bin. Don’t worry, relax. You’re doing a good job baby.” Bobby reassured him with a gentle pat on the back of his head. 

Bobby was enjoying the view from Hanbin’s side in silent, the smooth ride was making him sleepy once again. But then his stomach grumbled really loud, louder than the sound the car makes inside the cabin. 

“..we should find something to eat, hyung. You didn’t eat anything on the plane..”

“I think most are already closed except for drive in fast food places, Bin..hmm..let’s see…I vaguely remember someone telling me of tasty burger joint called Dick’s and it’s open ’til late.. there should be one near the downtown area.”

“Burger..? Aniya..you shouldn’t eat greasy food just yet. Let’s just order room service then.” Hanbin’s voice became stern all of a sudden. 

“..but I want a burger..”

“Jiwon, no.”

“Pretty please? Please with cherries on top?” Jiwon pleaded with a soft voice. 

“Babe..” Hanbin wanted to turn his head and scold him but he wouldn’t dare take his eyes off the road. Not when he was not familiar with the twist and turns of the unfamiliar road. 

“I’ll just have one small one, please? See, there’s one in the Capitol Hill area, that’s not too far from the hotel and it’s still open, please..?” —Bobby did a quick google on his phone to make sure—“..and the in room dining at this hour only offers small bites and cake..” Bobby tried to reason once again. 

“All right. But only a small one, okay?” Hanbin sighed in defeat. He could never win this kind of argument after all. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Bobby was still munching on the fries from the greasy Dick’s paper bag when they arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel downtown. Hanbin parked the car in front of the lobby, letting the valet guy dealt with the rental car. 

A young bellhop with curly brown hair and freckled face was quick to take both of their luggages as another attendant assisted them to the check in area. Bobby was the one who made the reservation so he dealt with it while Hanbin went to the restroom to sneakily throw the half eaten fries and strawberry shakes. The food was so good as he too tried a couple of sip and bites but he knew Bobby still needed to ease on the greasy food while his stomach was trying to recover from the food poisoning. 

Bobby caught the act from the corner of his eye but he knew not to complain, it was done with the best intention and he knew it. He just chuckled weakly when he saw Hanbin came out from the restroom with a fake innocent look on his face, such a cute sight to see. Bobby couldn’t wait to get to their room and cuddle with him to sleep. 

Their deluxe suite was located on the corner of the 9th floor, pretty spacious with views overlooking the Elliot Bay and Puget Sound. The huge body of water looked like a glittering black desert under the soft moonlight, calm and vast. A huge ferris wheel could be seen through the floor to ceiling window in their bedroom, towering majestically over the small wooden pier that had just got restored. Hanbin had a plan to ride it but the attraction was yet to be reopened. He already had a list of places that he wanted to see, all jam packed into the 2 free days they both had after the wedding. He shared the list with Bobby in their shared cloud notes weeks ago, jotting down hearts next to the places where he was most excited about. There were two in particular, Kerry Park and the Gum Wall. Bobby had heard both of it from someone he knew before— a long time ago that he no longer remembered any sort of details—but Bobby too was excited to be exploring this city with him, albeit wishing they had more vacation days to spend and explore more of the beautiful Washington state. 

Hanbin just noticed that Bobby was not following him to the bedroom after he was done taking pictures of the night view using his phone. He called out to him while turning off the lights in the bedroom—leaving only the bedside lamp on—but there was no answer. 

Hanbin went to the living room area, and there Bobby was, sprawled on the sofa in front of the turned off fireplace, fast asleep. It was one of Bobby’s bad habits, going to sleep right after a meal. 

“Baby, come on, wakeup..you can’t sleep here..I know we’ve been sleeping on the couch lately but we have a warm bed waiting for us. Come on, get up babe. Let’s wash up a bit before we sleep, kay?” Hanbin tried to rouse Bobby from his sleep. Bobby squirmed a little and did a little stretch, eyes still half closed yet his hand managed to find Hanbin’s and grabbed it tightly. He sleepwalked to the bedroom, all the while putting half of his weight on Hanbin who has him in a firm grip by the waist. 

Hanbin guided a very obedient Bobby to the bathroom and stripped both of them from their dirty airport clothes so they could take a quick shower before bed. He led both of them inside the warm shower box, letting hot water washed away the grimes from the plane. Bobby sighed contently, facing Hanbin to hug him and rested his head on Hanbin’s shoulder. Their bodies touching completely, skin-to-skin connection that felt warmer than the water dripping from the shower head above them. 

Hanbin didn’t mind spoiling Bobby these past couple of days. He realized how he missed taking care of this soft Bobby, clingy yet adorable, just the way he liked it. It was usually the other way around, he was the one being taken care of. But Hanbin had long realized how he loved every different parts of Bobby’s personality, imperfections included. And he knew Bobby felt the same. 

Hanbin was so confident by it that he didn’t realize that other factors may exist in relationships, particularly one with such a strong bond like theirs. _The higher the mountain, the harder the wind blows._

_______________________________________________________________________________________

**SATURDAY, September 18th, 2021 6:51 AM PDT**

Bobby groaned as he woke up from his sleep, he had no idea where or what time it was. He felt like he’d been sleeping for the longest time, his dreams were nothing but wild and satisfying at the same time. The sunlight felt warm and a bit ticklish on his right arm, and he was surrounded by a familiar scent that he loved so much. He blinked once, and then twice; the ticklish feeling on his arm got replaced with warm soft kisses on his right cheek and eyelid. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” A raspy voice called out to him. Soft caresses felt on his back made it harder to wake up properly. 

Soft rays of light filled out the room, gently coaxing Bobby out of his drowsiness. The face of that raspy voice was getting clearer, smiling sweetly at him. The disheveled hair that accompanied that handsome face made Bobby fell in love once again. 

“How long was I asleep..?” Bobby snuggled into Hanbin’s neck, inhaling deeply; letting the soft scent filled out his lungs, memorizing it into his soul. 

“…3 whole episodes of Game of Thrones and the entire Titanic movie..and me giving you a hickey.” Titanic’s ending music credits could be heard playing from the TV in the background.

“…did you not sleep at all, baby?” 

“Only for an hour or two, and then I’m wide awake until now.”

“..Awh, I’m sorry, baby..you should’ve woken me up..” Bobby felt bad for sleeping soundly all the while Hanbin was wide awake fighting his jet-lag. 

“It’s okay, I had fun cuddling with you anyway. Did you know, your right ass cheek is a bit smaller than the left? Same with your chesticles—“

“Ah byuntae!” Bobby complained but his laughter was telling otherwise. 

“This is my second time watching Titanic and I still wonder why Jack didn’t get on the door next to Rose? I mean it looked like it’ll fit? There was enough room for both of them..?” Hanbin rambled. Bobby was so used to this, Hanbin loved to just start random topics whenever he was tired and sleepy. The combo seemed to be his catalyst for philosophical conversation no matter what time it was. 

“Didn’t the mythbuster guys test it? I think I saw a rerun of the episode while I was in Virginia not long ago. Couldn’t remember what the result was though..” As always, Bobby had years of experience handling Hanbin’s random blurts. 

“If I were Rose, I’d jump on the cold water to be with Jack.” Hanbin said confidently. 

“And die together?”

“Better than living alone..”

“But Jack wanted her to live a long happy live, to die at an old age in a comfortable warm bed.”

“Isn’t that a bit selfish to wish that on Rose knowing that she had to endure living without him for many long years? And plus, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else the way Rose was, even if she still loved Jack deeply.”

“You got a point there, Bin..”

“If you were Rose, would you jump into the water with me?” Hanbin suddenly held Bobby’s face in his hands and stared deeply into his eyes. His face was filled with curious gaze. 

“You jump, I jump right?” Bobby answered without hesitation. 

“I did a great job snatching you from your fiance, Rose.” Hanbin teased. 

Bobby just couldn’t help it anymore, at that moment he felt his love was going haywire. Hanbin was too cute for his own good, and Bobby just wanted to eat him up. 

He attacked Hanbin with kisses all over the face and then moved on to his lips the moment Hanbin released his soft moans, kissing it tenderly as though it was a fragile thing. Massaging those pillowy soft lips slowly with his, Bobby tasted Hanbin’s as if it was his own. The tips of their tongues felt hot when they touched, the tingle could be felt all the way to their toes. Both were getting hard and aroused, their breaths were getting heavier the deeper the kiss went. Passionately he explored Hanbin’s body, as if he hadn’t done it countless times before. Bodies instinctively matched each other’s rhythm, they let their hips do all the work while their hands roamed freely to each other’s sensitive spots. 

“I thought you forgot my good morning kiss..” Hanbin said in between his panting. 

“It’s the overdue good night kiss. Sleep a bit more, we still have a couple more hours ’til we have to get ready for the wedding. I’ll give you your good morning kiss later..” Bobby was able to hold his composure better than a sleep deprived Hanbin; but he too, was saying it in a weak voice. His own release was near, and their pace got quicker with each second passed. 

Hanbin did it first, biting Bobby’s shoulder in the process, leaving a faint bite mark close to the hickey he had planted earlier that was starting to turn purplish. He mumbled something in Bobby’s ears, naughty words that would easily make anyone blush. 

“Good night, baby.” Bobby murmured with his husky voice. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

**SATURDAY, September 18th, 2021 5:47 PM PDT - SODO PARK**

Bobby helped Hanbin put his suit back on after they stepped out of the car, the sun hadn’t set but the temperature had dropped to a chilly 11 degrees Celcius, making Hanbin shivered a little. They were parked quite far away from the rustic blue building where the wedding was held, rows of guest cars who arrived ahead of them had filled up the parking spots nearest to the door. 

“Do I look good?” Hanbin asked to Bobby for what seemed like the countless time. Hair slicked back messily, collarbone tattoo peeking through the unbutton crisp white shirt, tight fitting suit and pants that showed the lean muscles he had been working on for months now. Bobby chuckled and nodded knowing Hanbin just wanted to be praised by him. 

“Want me to show you how attractive I think you are right now?” Bobby teased. 

“Show me ho—hey, it means I don’t look as good..” Hanbin pretended to sulk and wiped off Bobby’s kiss from his cheek. 

“Fine, handsome…” Bobby gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Jiwon.” Hanbin smiled in satisfaction after he got his kiss. Hanbin was downplaying his compliment, because Bobby looked dazzling that night. Dressed almost similarly to Hanbin aside from the color of his suit, but there was something extra special about Bobby that night. It was as if he just had a heavy dose of pretty pill or something. Hanbin just couldn’t stop staring. How lucky he felt to have him by his side. 

A black Ford F-150 drove past them and parked next to their car, but they weren’t paying much attention. The owner of the car turned off the machine and was pleasantly surprised, “Bobby?”

The dark blue building looked rustic from the outside but once they stepped through the alcoved entrance, the high ceilinged room looked nothing like what they had imagined. The old building was totally transformed into a scene straight out of a movie. Mismatched paper lanterns overhead with its warm glow, illuminating rows of neatly decorated dinner tables underneath. Romantic sheer drapings filled out the empty space in between, accented with live vines all over. 

In an instance, Hanbin imagined the kind of wedding he will hope to have with Bobby someday. It would probably be something like this, something simple and airy and romantic. He never attended this type of wedding before, the Korean weddings he went to was always decorated in a similar fancy style done inside a convention hall of a building. Bobby, on the other hand, had his fair share of American style weddings he attended during his early youth in Virginia, so he wasn’t too unfamiliar with it. 

Bobby touched Hanbin’s cheek lightly, knowing that Hanbin was deep in his thoughts because he froze on the spot and his eyes were in a daze. Hanbin snapped out of it and threw a meaningful glance to Bobby as he swiftly took Bobby’s hand in his and squeezed it softly before he let go. 

It didn’t take long for them to find Hanbin’s family already seated on the third row from the back on the groom’s side. Hanbin’s mom had saved seats for both of them and Bobby immediately turned all his attention to Byul, letting Hanbin returned into his daydream. 

The ceremony went smoothly. Tears were shed from the mothers’ eyes and even the twins’ dad. Gunwoo and his bride were smiling widely to the guests as they walked back down the aisle. He bowed a little the moment he spotted Hanbin and Bobby, expressing gratitude that they had actually come amidst their busy schedules. 

“Congratulations, Gunwoo-ya!” Hanbin and Bobby clapped hard for the couple. 

The guests were starting to move noisily to the dining area, each of them were given a card at the entrance to let them know where they should be seated. They chatted and mingled, and that was when an arm reached out and tapped on Bobby’s shoulder. 

“Bob, you’re Bobby Kim from Virginia, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was planning to post this on Bob's bday, but got caught up with a personal project that i couldn't finish on time.
> 
> Anyway, Happy belated birthday to Jiwon, an absurdly pretty human both inside and out. 
> 
> ahh and happy holidays to all! (and merriest christmas to everyone who celebrates!)
> 
> ((More notes and details at the end of the next chapter))


	4. Way Back To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mood:
> 
> slchld- say what’s on your mind  
> Sade - By Your Side

“Bob, you’re Bobby Kim from Virginia, right?”

A tall handsome man was standing behind Bobby, his face looked unsure yet curious. He had an air of a model to him, effortlessly good looking in his relaxed blazer and intentionally messy curly brown hair. 

“..yeah. Sean? Woah Sean, how’ve you been! It’s been forever!” Bobby went in immediately for a bro hug. 

Hanbin who was standing next to Bobby the whole time was just observing them in silence, waiting to be introduced to this mystery guy. 

“I’m actually booked as their wedding photographer, got the gig through my brother’s wife who’s cousin with the twins. I almost declined the offer because I had a huge party event to cover last night and I thought I’d be way too hungover the next day, but I’m glad that I didn’t. Who would’ve thought..what a small world it is! Reuniting with my old best friend in Seattle..Bro, you look like a superstar now.” 

Sean was just what Bobby had remembered, animated and friendly and loved to run fingers through his hair for no apparent reason. The only difference was that he seemed to have lost the baby fat from his face and his Caucasian features had gotten more pronounced, looking like a slightly younger version of actor Philippe Sung with a curly brown hair. It was him who strike up a conversation and befriended Bobby in Junior High, back when Bobby didn’t have any friends at school. Their friendship back then was filled with talks of music and girl crushes, and they comforted each other through every family problems that they had. Too bad they fell out of touch not long after Sean moved to Seattle; and of course Bobby got busy as a trainee in Seoul that he barely had time for himself. 

Bobby chuckled at Sean’s remarks about his look and just shrugged it off. Other guests’ noisy chatter was making it hard to hear in such a huge room, so they moved closer to each other. Bobby noticed that Hanbin stood still behind and pulled him by his shoulder to introduce him to Sean. 

“Hey Sean, this is my partner, Hanbin. His parents are good friends with the twins’ parents and it just so happens that the twins are our managers as well. We both came from Seoul just to attend the wedding, actually. Hanbinah, this is Sean, my good friend back when I was in Virginia.” 

The two men did a casual handshake and polite smile. Hanbin asked Sean the type of camera he was using but in actuality he was more interested about the history between Bobby and Sean than the fancy camera that Sean was holding. 

“Wait, managers? So the twins’ are your guys’ boss?” 

“Umm..not really. Well, we both work as musicians in Korea, so Gunwoo and Hyunwoo help us with our day to day schedules and stuff.” 

“Bobby hyung once mentioned an old friend with similar music tastes before,”—Hanbin turned to ask Bobby directly—“was it Sean, hyung?”

Bobby nodded to Hanbin with a tender smile. 

Unfortunately their conversion got cut short when the mc announced that the dinner would soon be served once all the guests had gotten seated. They parted ways for that moment, with Sean promising to find them again once they start the after-party. 

Hanbin and Bobby headed to their seats in the same table alongside other guests, with Hanbin’s family already sitting there. His mother was chatting happily with his dad about something, meanwhile Byul seemed to have found a cute little girl a bit younger than her to play with. 

Hyunwoo was sitting next to his mother at the main table in front, beaming and looking equally as happy as his twin brother. He rose up when he saw Hanbin and Bobby, went over and hugged both of them tight and thanked them for coming. Hanbin patted him gently on his back before he ran back to his seat.

The dinner and the speeches that followed was really enjoyable, the night went smoothly thanks to the amazing team that was in charge of the wedding. Most of them were the bride’s colleagues from work and with the line of work that they were in, it was no surprise. 

The light dimmed as the DJ started playing a slow song. They cleared out the chairs and the spacious area became a huge dance floor. The bride and groom started the night off with a slow dance to Stephen Bishop’s “It Might Be You”. Gunwoo looking a bit nervous whenever he dipped his bride and Hyunwoo could be seen watching proudly while wiping away his happy tears. The final dip was closed with a kiss, and the whole crowd went ooh and ahhs at the sight.

Bobby and Hanbin was standing at the corner of the room, lost in their own world. A huge block of wooden pillar was hiding them from everyone’s sight as was the minimal lighting in the area. 

“..something’s telling me it might be you..all of my life..” Bobby was singing it softly to Hanbin’s ears. One hand was holding Hanbin close by the waist, while the other held on to Hanbin’s hand that he placed over his heart. They swayed slowly to the song, cheek to cheek. 

“..let’s go back to the hotel..Make love to me, Jiwon..” Hanbin whispered with a raspy voice, eyes filled with want. 

“…your mom’s gonna kill us, baby. Just be patient, I’ll make love to you and more when we get back..” 

Bobby had seen that look on Hanbin countless times, heard that raspy voice pleading for him to go harder many many times, yet it never failed to arouse something within him. Like a button that got switched on automatically, this overwhelming high that he wanted to chase on forever. It felt like being drunk without taking a sip of alcohol, completely wasted, intoxicated. He was addicted to it like a fat kid with candy. Like a smoker with his cigarettes. A possessive lover with his love. The only difference was Bobby was really good with his inhibition. 

He kissed the back of Hanbin’s hand while gazing deeply at the round brown eyes that he adored so much. 

“I love you,” he said while staring straight into Hanbin’s bedroom eyes. 

They stayed glued to their spot until the music changed and the huge speakers near the dance floor started playing upbeat party songs. The guest started spreading out all over the room so they gave each other one last kiss on the lips and released their hug. 

“Should we get something from the bar to get the night going?..wait…oh man, I forgot. You’ll be driving so you can’t drink..let me get you ice cream from the Molly Moon truck out front. I heard it’s really good. I’ll be back, Binnie.” Bobby lightly caressed Hanbin’s back before stepping outside where a short queue was already forming. 

Hanbin was enjoying the beat on his own when Hyunwoo found him and dragged him to the seating area near the bar. A family was sitting there, a pregnant lady with a husband that looked oddly similar to Sean, looking at his direction while talking with one another. 

“This is our favorite cousin, Hyesun noona.” Hyunwoo introduced Hanbin to the couple. 

“Hi, we’ve met once, didn’t we? You came to DC with your parents when you were little, and I happened to be babysitting Gunwoo and Hyunwoo that day. Long time no see, Hanbin. Honey, “—she turned around to her husband— “this is Hanbin, the boy I was telling you about. Hanbin, this is my husband, Shane.” The woman spoke in a very friendly tone. 

“Nice to meet you, Shane…sorry, I don’t really remember meeting you before Noona,”—Hanbin grinned sheepishly—“but It’s nice seeing you again! I see that you are expecting? Congratulation, may your pregnancy goes smoothly.”

“Ah, thank you Hanbin. Yeah, we’re so excited for our second child! Me and Shane have been waiting for this little one for a while. Oh yeah, I heard from auntie that you’re a famous artist in Korea?”

“Ah, Aniya.. maybe just a little famous..” Hanbin was way too humble. 

“Guys, anybody want something from the bar? Well, obviously not you noona, you want anything, Shane, Hanbin hyung?” Hyunwoo offered.

A girl suddenly approached them and asked if she could get ice cream and Hyesun said yes. Turned out the girl was the one playing with Byul a while back. Hanbin could see Byul coming back from where his mother was standing and seemingly had just asked the same question. Both girls ran happily to the door where the ice cream truck was parked at. Right when they opened the door, they bumped to Bobby. Being the gentleman that he always was, he escorted both of them outside, making sure they knew where the queue was before heading back in. 

Bobby’s face had gotten flushed from the cold wind outside, the tip of his nose turned pink and he started to sniffle a little. He was looking around for a while, wondering where Hanbin went. 

Just like couple’s habit that was too hard to break, Hanbin blurted out to him, “Baby, over here!” He realized seconds later but acted nonchalantly. 

Bobby waded through the crowd gracefully, it seemed like he was the only one unaware of how attractive he looked that night. Lot of eyes were glued on him as he made his way to where Hanbin was seated, a cup of ice cream on hand with extra cherries just the way Hanbin liked his ice cream. 

“I got you their most popular flavor, Honey Lavender. I tried it a little bit, it’s really good, Binnie! You get a whiff of lavender but your tongue is tasting honey, very odd! Oh by the way, Byulie seemed to have found a new friend, they’re so cute! I had no idea her english is that good. Better than her brother,..” Bobby said with a chuckle, clearly teasing. His eyes were directed to Hanbin, not realizing the strangely familiar couple was watching them with a curious gaze. 

“Ah, thank you for the ice cream. Hyung, this is Hyesun noona and Shane-ssi, they’re cousins to Hyun and Gunwoo.” Hanbin introduced Bobby to the couple. 

“Nice to meet you guys,” Bobby shook their hands and gave them a friendly smile. It took him a moment to notice how similar Shane looked to Sean, his features were pretty much identical. From the jawline to the brown curly hair, but most noticeably was the slightly crooked smile. 

“...hey Shane, did you by any chance used to live in Virginia?” 

“Born and raised in Fairfax, spent college in LA where i met the love of my life and then got settled in Seattle.” 

“Um, guys, sorry to interrupt..Em, they need you over there by the flower backdrop.” Sean interrupted their conversation to let them know that they would be taking the extended family picture soon. He called her by her American name, Emily; a practice that was common amongst the Korean Americans to have an easier to pronounce American name aside from their birth given name. Similar to how it was with Bobby back then. 

“I see you’ve met my brother and sister in law, Bob!” Sean took a seat next to Bobby and hugged him by the shoulder, much to Hanbin’s slight dismay.

Hanbin didn’t really understand why he was feeling uncomfortable towards Sean, but the feeling lingered from the moment they were introduced to each other. 

Meanwhile, Hyunwoo had came back from the bar, grabbed himself 2 glasses of beer for both him and Shane. He insisted on getting more for Bobby and Sean as well and left them again. He came back as fast as he went, with a tall glass of beer straight from the tap. 

“You gotta try this, Bobby hyung, it’s one of the local’s favorite for fall season, Night Owl Pumpkin Ale.” Hyunwoo handed him the drink, waiting eagerly for Bobby’s reaction while he too took a sip from his glass. 

“...it’s..different. But i like it. Thanks Hyun!” Bobby let Hanbin took a sip after but judging by his expression, it seemed like Hanbin didn’t enjoy it as much. 

“You know Hanbin, this guy right here,”—Sean pointed at Bobby— gave me his most prized possession when I moved from Virginia. I think I still have that cd now, Bob.”

“That Lauryn Hill cd? Yeah, I loved that one a lot.” 

Sean finished his beer in several gulps, he had to go back to his duty taking more pictures for the bride and groom’s families where the extended families were already gathered. 

“See you in a few, Bob.” 

“You know Sean, hyung?” Hyunwoo asked after making sure Sean was out of sight. He took the seat where Sean was and looking at Bobby with an indescribable expression. Hanbin immediately looked at their direction, curious to the weird tone heard in Hyunwoo’s voice. 

“He was my best friend from school, back when I was still living in the States. We haven't spoken to each other in years though, sorta lost contact after he moved here to Seattle. Why, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that, Hyun?”

“What a small world! To think that I met Hanbin when we were little, and you knowing Sean when you were little..anyway, I don't know how to say this without sounding a bit accusatory, but..”

Hyunwoo hesitated a bit before continuing.

“Sean’s a nice a guy, but I heard that he has a rather problematic past. You know, Hyesun noona’s been with Sean’s brother for a long time..Well, she told me once that those brothers actually had a major fall out a couple years ago, right when noona had just given birth. She didn’t exactly explain what the cause was, but it was enough to make a really gentle man like Shane is, swore on his life to never speak with his brother again. Unless Shane has another brother that i don’t know of, it has to be Sean, right?”

“..huh..? To be honest, Hyun, I’m not sure what to make of this information..Sean that i knew back then was just..nice? Not problematic whatsoever, or at least as far as I know of. We did a lot of foolish things just like regular kids would, but it was never to the extent where it would hurt anybody or like, break serious law or anything like that..” There was a definitive confusion in his tone of voice, Bobby was unsure if he should believe what he had just heard. 

“What kind of foolish things did you do, Bobby hyung?” Hanbin got curious. But Bobby seemed to not have heard him.

“Just be careful with him, Bob. You might be anonymous here but you’re a huge artist back in Korea.. you’re aware of how those keyboard warriors love to dig up these kind of information and make up crazy unfounded rumors just to bring you down..” 

Bobby didn’t get the chance to answer because Sean casually strolled in and handed him an ice cream cone stacked with two fat scoops of ice cream. 

“You gotta have the Cookie Dough flavor, Bob. It has a hint of cinnamon in it, really really similar to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. I remember you loved that cereal so much back then, you always had it on top of your fridge whenever I came to visit.”

Hanbin couldn’t hide his feelings, he had gotten more uneasy with what he heard on top of his initial impression of Sean. 

“I thought you said your all time favorite cereal is Lucky Charms?” Hanbin asked flatly, trying his best to hide his growing jealousy. It was not just him overreacting, but he felt kinda dejected after realizing there might be things about Bobby’s childhood that Sean knew more about than he himself did. 

“..I love Lucky Charms, Bin,”— Bobby chuckled nervously to ease the growing tension that he had noticed since earlier— “..but back then we can’t always afford it..this Cinnamon Toast Crunch was often in stock at Big Lots near our house, umm.. it’s like a discounted general store, so my mom often bought that for me instead.” Bobby explained it while looking straight at Hanbin’s eyes, trying his best to send out a silent signal to comfort Hanbin somewhat. 

“Try it, you’ll like it,” Bobby tried handing Hanbin the ice cream to try diffuse the tension. Much to his surprise, Hanbin had another idea in mind and licked the drippings on Bobby’s hand instead. 

“Yeah, it’s good.” Hanbin said nonchalantly. Unfortunately, his calculated action wasn’t seen by Sean because he was called out by someone from the crowd and happened to be turning his head the other way. 

“Argh, they need me over there. Listen, Bob, we need to hang out while you’re in town. I’d love to catch up with you uninterrupted. Do you have time anytime before you have to go back to Seoul?”

“Sure, I’m free..tomorrrow..”—He turned to Hanbin to make sure he could squeeze in some time with Sean between their planned out itinerary, but Hanbin’s expression was unreadable—“..tomorrow night around dinner time.”

“Awesome, can I have your number? Do you need me to pick you up at your hotel? Where are you staying?”

“We’re staying at Four Seasons downtown. I can just meet you at the place, Sean.” Bobby emphasized on the we.

“I’ll text you the location later, there’s this dive bar that just opened up last week, I heard they serve killer omelette the size of a fully grown baby. Perfect to sop up all the alcohol. Hanbin, you’re welcome to come if you’d like?”

“Ah..no I can’t, I promised my sister we’ll explore the city together, you boys go catch up to your heart’s content.” Hanbin tried the politest smile he could muster. 

“That’s too bad. Well, it’s just gonna be you and me tomorrow, Bob. Just like old times. I gotta go, enjoy the rest of the night, gentlemen. It was nice meeting you, Hanbin. I’ll call you, Bob.” Sean gestured a phone call to his ear as he was leaving. 

Hanbin sighed the moment Sean went out of sight. 

“Baby, you’re sure you’re okay with me hanging out with Sean tomorrow? I can always cancel if you’re uncomfortable.” Bobby touched Hanbin’s back softly. 

Hanbin stared at Bobby’s eyes and finally shook his head after some time, “I don’t mind, Jiwon. Just make sure you don’t get back too late, I hate sleeping alone.”

______________________________________________________________________________________ 

**SUNDAY, September 19th, 2021 10:23 AM PDT**

The lingering feeling of summer was still in air the next morning, the city was welcoming them with warm sunshine despite the cold gust of wind and light misty rain every now and then. Hanbin and Bobby woke up rather late and joined Hanbin’s family for a brunch at Beecher’s at the Pike Place Market. It was a stone-throw away from their hotel so they walked there, arms linked with each other while enjoying a hot cup of dark hot chocolate from Fran’s Chocolate shared between the two of them. Before they met up with the family, they stopped by at one of the most important place from Hanbin’s checklist which was the famed gum wall. The weird sight of colorful chewed up gums in a small alleyway helped cheered Hanbin a lot, the perfect kind of spot for him to take a lot artsy pictures using his analog camera. 

Hanbin wasn’t particularly cheerful earlier that morning, overthinking the encounter with Sean last night. He tossed and turned that night, unable to fall asleep because his mind was going miles a minute. Weird thing was, he didn’t really know why because it was simply a reunion between his lover and his old childhood friend, similar to how it had happened with him and the twins. Yet, he felt more uneasy as the morning came, and it meant that Bobby would meet Sean again soon. He woke up with a bit of a headache, didn’t talk much while they both were getting ready together in the huge marbled bathroom. And once again Hanbin was thankful for how he was loved by Bobby, because his lover sensed the weird mood and was really attentive ever since. The extra kisses and cuddles before they went out to meet the family eased a lot of his anxiety, even though small portion of it lingered still in the back of his head. But he felt loved more than ever and that was enough. 

Bobby was chatting with Hanbin’s father about some new artwork that Bobby’s father did when Hanbin noticed the small screen on his purple cellphone lit up. It was a message from Sean telling Bobby to meet up at a Mexican restaurant instead because the bar he was planning to take Bobby to was closed for a private event. 

“You got a text, Bobby hyung,” Hanbin said casually as they strolled the Pike Place Market, going to the floor below to look at some of the quirky shops where they sold a lot of weird things to bring as souvenirs for their friends back home. They had just witnessed the fishmonger throwing a huge fish to each other and thinking of how fun it would be to try buying it from them even though it would be wasteful because they couldn’t cook the huge fish nor bring it home to Seoul.

Bobby checked his phone and typed a quick reply while Hanbin was busy choosing a selection of silly kitchen aprons to buy Yunhyeong. 

“What time will you be heading out to meet Sean?”

“I told him around 5ish. We’re going to see Fremont Troll after this, right? He told me to meet him at a Mexican restaurant called Gorditos and I think it’s not that faraway from where the troll is. Do you mind dropping me off there?”

“Sure.” Hanbin took Bobby’s hand and headed outside where his family was waiting by. His sister wanted to go to the aquarium so they parted ways. 

They decided to walk by the pier and browsed around some more quirky things to bring home for the boys. This one store in particular, displayed a 2 headed duck on a skateboard along with 2 mummies named Sylvester and Sylvia, alongside a collection of shrunken heads, all displayed neatly in a row of glass cabinets. Bobby of course felt the need to share those pictures with Jinhwan so he sent him those pictures in their group chats and immediately gotten cursed over the reply. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Bobby asked Hanbin once again once they sat down to get another lunch at Ivar’s. Hanbin ordered the famous fish and chips while Bobby settled for a steak salad. For someone who enjoyed the smell of the sea, Bobby was rather an odd one for his aversion to seafood simply because of how it smelled. 

“Positive,”—Hanbin fed a piece of fat fries to Bobby who accepted it gladly—“,..hyung, I think that bird is eyeing my fish.” They were seated at the outdoor seat and a row of gulls were casually perching on the railing overlooking the water.

“Jinani keeps cursing me after I sent those pictures, do something babe..” Bobby chuckled seeing his how his phone screen kept lighting up from Jinhwan’s messages. 

“Should I send him more? I took a picture of that freaky fake mermaid too.” Hanbin laughed happily, mouth full with the fried fish and tartar sauce. 

Days like these, they wished to go on forever. Just enjoying each other’s company, no matter where they were. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“I’ll be back soon, love. Drive safely.” Bobby held Hanbin’s face and kissed him softly so that his promise not only remained on his lips but sealed with a kiss.  
“Don’t take too long.” Hanbin sent Bobby off with a smile. 

Hanbin drove off to join his family for a dinner with the twins’ parents at a fancy steakhouse in Bellevue, sort of a long drive from where they were. The car went off with a roaring sound as it accelerated away from the restaurant. 

Bobby entered the colorful establishment and was immediately greeted by the staff working on the cash register by the door. He spotted Sean sitting nearby the beverage dispenser with a llama pinata perched on the table, munching on the free chips and salsa while reading something off of his phone. 

“Sorry I got here late,” Bobby took off his jacket and hung it behind his chair.

“Nah, it’s fine, Bob. I only got here like 5 minutes ago myself. I already ordered a bunch of food for us, I hope you still have that huge appetite of yours. I ordered the huge burrito baby.” Sean grinned. 

The staff called out Sean’s name suddenly and he came back after exchanging the mini pinata with a huge tray of food and a humongous burrito. They weren’t kidding when they advertised it as a burrito the size of a baby. 

“You paid already?”

“My humble treat. Don’t worry about it. Just pay me back when we get drinks later.”

Bobby was still amused by the sheer amount of food on their table, he took a sip of the cold water Sean got him from the free fountain before taking pictures of those food to send to Hanbin. 

“By the way I chose to take you here ‘cos I remember how you liked Mexican food. Remember how back then we could only afford Chipotle at the beginning of the month, but had Taco Bell pretty much three times a week? Come to think of it, we could’ve afford Chipotle once every week if we didn’t spent it all on those Doritos Locos Tacos and Baja Blast..”

“We weren’t exactly a model student back then, barely used our brain for anything,” Bobby got nostalgic remembering his life in Virginia. 

“So you work as a musician now?” Sean started on his chicken quesadilla, folding it in two so it could fit his mouth. 

“Sorta. I kinda entered the music industry back in 2011 by luck, trained for several years and debuted in a group. But right now I’m working independently under my own label. Well, technically mine and Hanbin’s joint company.”

“That’s mad cool, Bob. So if I go search for the name Bobby Kim on the internet, I’ll find your music? I wanna listen to it all.” 

“It should be under Bobby iKON, that’s the name of the group I belonged to. Or just Kim Jiwon 2028 label.”

“Remember that promise we made to each other back then? You have become successful. I’m still getting there.. slowly but surely.” Sean said so as he avoided Bobby’s eyes. 

“I’m far from that myself, Sean. Still got tons of dreams and goals that I’ve yet to achieve. But I’m thankful at where I’m at. I think as I grow older I realized that being successful in life means being happy and content as well. And right now I’m happy.”

“Happiness huh..I think I’m slowly getting there too.” Sean’s face turned hard all of a sudden. 

“My parents got divorced not long after we moved out here. My mom’s remarried now and moved to LA with her new husband. I was a mess back then. Well I think I still am”—Sean chuckled—“but at least my bro stopped his silent treatment so I get to hang out with my niece that I adore so much. She’s like my happiness pill, Bob. And another one on the way too, can’t wait to meet that little guy.”

Bobby remembered what Hyunwoo told him last night and although he was not interested in prying about Sean’s past, he felt that there must be a misunderstanding there between what he had heard and what had actually happened. 

“..you know how my mom was a perfectionist, she wouldn’t even let us mess the living room furnitures and yet my dad suddenly decided to uproot our whole life without discussing it with her first. She resented it a lot,” Sean rambled on. 

“I was so depressed when we first moved, witnessing how they fought every single day, and the weather didn’t help either. But I came to love it, the cold and gloomy weather. It was like a reflection of my heart back then, but when Spring came it became so lovely. Yet I was still waiting for mine for the longest time.”

“Sorry bob this was supposed to be a cheerful dinner, I don’t know why I sprung my life problems on you,” Sean sounded apologetic. 

“Hey, come on Sean, you know me, I don’t mind it at all.”

“And I want to say sorry, I didn’t mean to just..disappear like that on you. I was too caught up on everything that happened that I didn’t even know how to tell you or where to start because I hid it a lot. I guess I was embarrassed back then because you had such a solid family while mine was falling apart.” 

“No, don’t apologize man. Let past be the past, we meet again by chance didn’t we? There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Bobby tried to console him. 

“I guess you’re right. Fate takes us back to each other, I think we should celebrate that. We’ll stop by another bar before I take you back to the hotel, Hanbin wouldn’t mind, right? Sean asked his last sentence in a rather provoking tone, as if demanding some kind of explanation that he wouldn’t be asking out loud. 

“Of course he wouldn’t,” Bobby answered, oblivious of that tone in Sean’s voice. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

The music was loud, but they were having fun. Bobby was on his second bottles of beer, but Sean insisted to take the jagerbombs alongside him. The shots were lined up in front of them, half of the shot glasses were already empty.

“I just broke up with my fiance not too long ago,” Sean half screamed to Bobby’s ears so he could be heard. His face was starting to become red, mainly on the tip of his nose and the top of his cheeks. 

“Sorry to hear that, man.” Bobby took another shot to cheer him up. He himself was already feeling the buzz, his ears started ringing as if it were signaling him to slow down with the alcohol. 

“Yeah, she’s a fraud anyway.” Sean finished his half drunken shot in one gulp.

“Plenty of fishes in the sea, cheers to finding your happiness soon,” they clunked their shot glasses and drunk some more.

“..what about your happiness, Bob? Are you with Hanbin? When you said partner, did you mean business partner or.. partner partner?” 

“..he’s my partner, in every sense of definition there are out there. He’s my lover, Sean.”

“I knew it. Never mind, I already know, I saw you guys kissing at the parking lot before.”

Sean hesitated for a bit, “I never thought you swing both ways. You had a girlfriend back then.”

“Well..Hanbin is kind of an exception. I don’t know if I can be considered one, but to be honest, falling in love with him was as easy as breathing air. And on the contrary, not admitting my feelings to him back then felt so suffocating, it felt like I couldn’t breathe properly.”

“..never knew you’d be so philosophical, Bob. But I guess love changed you,…for the better.”

“I guess it did.” Bobby laughed. 

“You know what Bob, I swing both ways too. I lied to you earlier, my fiancé was a guy. He used to be married to my brother’s best friend.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“Hyung, is that you?” Hanbin called out from the bathroom when he heard the hotel door opened and closed with a thud. 

There was no answer so he grabbed his shirt and went to the living room area to find Bobby sleeping on the sofa, again. 

“Jiwon…” Hanbin sighed. It was 1:12 AM when he came back, a bit later than what he had promised.

“..you reek of alcohol so bad. You’re lucky I love you.” Hanbin half carried a sleeping Bobby to the bedroom and laid him gently on the bed. 

“I’m taking off your clothes, okay princess? Not taking advantage, just so that you can sleep better without all these layers,” Hanbin was talking to himself, finding the whole situation somewhat entertaining. 

Bobby’s purple phone fell from his jacket pocket and landed on the carpeted floor. But Hanbin was still busy undressing Bobby and hadn’t noticed it. 

“..you’re dead drunk. I’m sure you’ll complain of headache tomorrow. And they don’t sell Dawn 88 here..silly Jiwon..” Hanbin kept on mumbling to himself as he sweated himself off prying layers of clothing from Bobby’s deadweight limbs. 

Bobby was stripped naked and Hanbin immediately covered his body with the thick hotel blanket. He was about to sleep himself so he walked to the other side of the bed when his toes kicked the purple phone lightly. It was then he saw another lighted up message on the small screen.

 _ **Sorry I kissed you.**_  
______________________________________________________________________________________

**MONDAY, September 20th, 2021 6:52 AM PDT**

Bobby woke up with a pounding headache, his vision was blurry for a bit so he blinked his eyes several times to get it to focus. He realized he was sleeping on the hotel’s warm bed, so his hand instinctively went to the side to feel Hanbin. But it was empty.

Bobby sat himself up, looked at the time next to him. It was still quite early, 6:52 in the morning. He wondered if Hanbin had went downstairs to get breakfast because the bathroom was empty. 

“Binnie..baby?” He called out to make sure. His voice sounded rough from the alcohol.

Bobby found him outside the bedroom, he was sitting at the dinner table, face totally blank gazing at a distance from the window. Bobby immediately thought he was in trouble for coming home late, but then Hanbin looked a bit too sad for that mere mistake. 

“Did you have a good sleep?” Hanbin asked in a flat tone.

“..not really because you weren’t there when I woke up..” Bobby approached Hanbin carefully. He was wearing the bathrobe he fetched from the bathroom earlier, slipped it on carelessly and that sight usually would always make Hanbin smile but apparently not this morning. 

“Good. ‘Cos I can’t sleep a wink.” Hanbin sounded more annoyed than ever.

“Should we cancel our plans for today, baby? Let’s just rest, I don’t want you to get sick.” Bobby was sitting next to him, hand caressing Hanbin’s hair softly. He then gave him a gentle good morning kiss but Hanbin kept his lips shut. 

“Ask me why I can’t sleep.” 

“Why..? Was it because I came home too late? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you have something else you want to tell me, Jiwon?”

“…I…I don’t..I don’t think so?” Bobby was confused. 

“Great. You should check your phone, maybe you’ll get a clue.”

Hanbin left the room still in his bathrobe and slammed on the door.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

“Jiwonah, Hanbin left our hotel not long ago. He did stop by in the morning to borrow the shower and his dad’s clothes. Did you guys fight? He didn’t want to tell me.”

Bobby finally had the idea to get hold of Hanbin’s family after calling and texting Hanbin for hours, asking where he was. They were supposed to visit the Space Needle and U-district that day, but Hanbin had told his mom that he wanted to go somewhere else alone, and he didn’t specify where.

Bobby took one of the warmest jacket he brought from the suitcase, and called Hyunwoo to explain the situation while heading to the hotel lobby. Hyunwoo didn’t know where Hanbin was either because he didn’t contact him at all. Hanbin was ignoring all of his calls and messages and Bobby had no idea where to look for him in this foreign city. 

He had read the text message and figured out why Hanbin had gotten so mad, but it was too late. He didn’t even remember it happening, but he knew it was not intentional on his part. Still, he knew Hanbin had every right to be mad.

_**Hanbin, please I’m begging you. Let me know where you are right now. please.** _

Bobby almost wanted to plead at this point. He was concerned at the fact that Hanbin didn’t know anyone, not familiar with places, and from what Hanbin’s mom had told him, didn’t even wear proper clothes for the weather. The temperature dipped more than yesterday and he was sure Hanbin would be shivering in his t-shirt and thin flannel combo. 

He got to the lobby and wasn’t even sure of his next plan was. Still waiting for a reply, still hoping Hanbin would get back soon. 

He ran outside to grab a taxi, but then he still had no idea where to go.

_**Find me, like how you promised you would.** _

The text that he was waiting for finally came, it didn’t give out any clue but at least he was relieved that Hanbin was safe. He cancelled the taxi and decided to walk the downtown area, hoping he’d catch Hanbin somewhere nearby. 

Hanbin wouldn’t venture too far, Bobby reassured himself of his plan.

He walked around aimlessly, following the crowd. He got to the Pike Place Market again and went uphill from there, all the way to Pacific Place. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack, yet Bobby was sure he would find Hanbin sooner or later.  


Bobby walked back towards the direction of the hotel to try looking for Hanbin at the pier and ended up in Pioneer Square where the air smelled different. It was like a blast from the past, how the cobblestone road and facades of historic buildings filled up his sight. Hanbin had mentioned an underground ghost tour in the area and expressed his desire to book the group tour, but changed their plan last minute because they only had so much free time to explore and he wanted to go see other places. 

By then it was already approaching sunset and Bobby still hadn’t found Hanbin. The old street clock was showing 6:27 PM and the sunlight was starting to fade. Bobby called Hanbin one more time, desperate to get some kind of clue but it rang and rang only to get through to the voice mail. 

He finally sat down on the wooden park bench at the shaded area in front of the old Pioneer Building, trying hard to hold himself together. He let his mind wander for a while, maybe it would help him find clues to Hanbin’s whereabouts. 

This area wasn’t exactly the loveliest nor the trendiest, it didn’t really attract the young crowd except during nighttime when the nightclub nearby opening its door. But the whole vibe of the area reminded him of Seochon Village, one of his and Hanbin’s secret hideaway where they could enjoy coffee inside their many secluded coffee shops and eat at Hanbin’s favorite samgyetang restaurant afterwards. 

Bobby watched people walking by, some in groups, some in pairs, and some were just on their own just like he was. He wondered if any of them were dealing with the same headache, trying to find a lover who went missing. But then Bobby always knew how everyone had their own problems in life, no matter how big, no matter how small. And he was always taught by his parents that the culmination of it all created this unspoken need to be good towards one another. And although he was still unclear of the event that had transpired the night before, he couldn’t be mad at Sean. Just like how he had never forgotten this friendly curly haired boy from Virginia, Bobby would always remember the first hand that shook his in the hallway by the cafetaria. He still hadn’t replied to the text nor called Sean back after that apology, so he took out his phone from his pocket and fumbled with it, deleting and typing again and again.

_**I’m sorry, I was wrong too. We both had one too many shots and I should’ve refused you. I love you man, you’re a really good friend. I hope we’ll stay that way for a long long time. I hope you’ll find your happiness soon, Sean.** _

He spotted an old couple walking hand in hand passed him and walked to the edge of the street, making a right turn at the corner where a vintage clothing store were. For some reason, he decided to follow them to wherever they were heading. 

The street led to another uphill road, where he could see a traffic light and an overpass way up ahead. The couple went pass several shops after the turn, and entered the one with a cherry logo signage on top of the entrance. Bobby followed suit, believing he was led to a right place when he saw it.

The cafe looked airy, with double adjoining windows all the way to the high ceiling. It was nestled in an old historic building but the interior looked slightly modern. There was no familiar face inside, no sight of of his lover. He even checked the underground level, where the decor was slightly more rustic with its mismatched sofas and frayed carpets. The last bits of sunshine and the smell of old furnitures was strong, but it reminded him of the smell of old happy memories. Of his grandparents’ building in Yeonamdong, back before it got sold during the 2008 economic crisis.

He took a seat at a plush chair near the old fireplace and noticed a local magazine nearby. He flipped through it randomly, and came across an article and photos of Kerry Park. And then all of a sudden, a lightbulb went on his head. He finally remembered their shared cloud notes and the heart next to this place they hadn’t visited yet. 

He ran upstairs and ordered a 16 oz. hot chocolate, a large bowl of their soup of the day, as well as a ham and cheddar sandwich to go. It took them a while to finish making all of his order, particularly because the sandwich was made to order. He threw in another warmed cookie for good measure, all packed up in huge brown paper bag that felt quite heavy. 

He hailed a taxi and immediately went straight to where Hanbin was. 

_**I’m coming to get you, baby. Wait for me.** _

_______________________________________________________________________________________

**Kerry Park - Queen Anne  
7:10 PM PDT — currently 11 degrees Celcius**

“Finally found you.” 

A tall young man was leaning on the railing, he was wearing as described. Dressed too casually for the weather, a thin brownish green flannel shirt on top of an oversized white tee, black jeans and a sneaker. He turned his head rather cinematically, the moment he heard the voice. 

He didn’t say a word, but his gesture was inviting Bobby to come closer. His face looked tired and his eyes were heavy. But those big brown eyes were gazing at Bobby with the utmost longing, tired of being apart.

The small and neat park was a nondescript one, perched on top of Queen Anne Hill overlooking the city skyline, located right in the middle of one of the highest points of a posh neighborhood consisting of million dollar houses. The gorgeous view alone was its redeeming quality, and it got especially beautiful during the nighttime when the twinkles of the city-lights below lit up against the night sky filled with stars. There was nobody else at the park but them, bathed in golden sunset as one waited and one was approaching closer. 

“You must be freezing,” Bobby put the jacket that he brought on Hanbin. He placed the bag full of food on the park bench while he attended to his lover. Handed him the hot chocolate he had bought earlier so Hanbin could warm up. 

Bobby waited patiently for Hanbin to finish taking his sip, the hot chocolate seemed to be working well in thawing Hanbin’s cold body. His shoulder relaxed and the color on his lips slowly returned. 

Bobby took the hands that was freezing for waiting too long, tried to warm it desperately in his own. Rubbing it over and over to thaw out the cold. And he moved to kiss the lips, cold to the touch, yet felt soft as always. He placed his lips on Hanbin’s gently, wanting to share the warmth from his body. 

“I’m sorry.” Bobby whispered softly to those lips, eyes searching for the pretty brown eyes that he loved. He wanted to kiss those too, glad that those gaze were his to have. 

“I know. It’s not your fault.” Hanbin sounded hoarse. It was as if he had been keeping his mouth shut for too long and he finally spoke. 

For a moment Bobby thought Hanbin was breaking away from his hug, but he actually wanted to hold Bobby closer to him. He shifted his arms and put it around Bobby’s neck, and Bobby could smell the faint oak and hazelnut smell from his shampoo the moment Hanbin nuzzled into him. 

“You took too long.” Hanbin sounded grumbly but he tightened his hug.

“I’m sorry.” Bobby kept apologizing in a soft voice, his hand couldn’t stop caressing the smaller back. He wished he had found him earlier. He wished he could hold Hanbin closer until their bodies melt together. 

“I went for a walk to clear my head. I’m sorry I made you panic..I feel like I needed to clear out my head. Stopped by some random coffee shops and people watch. Realized then that I overreacted..I wanted to go back since hours ago, but I still wanted you to find me.”

The sun was setting as they spoke softly to each other, it was as if glad that the lovers had finally met and it now could go back to its slumber. 

“Did you kiss him back?”

"You know I don’t get turned on with anybody else but you.”

“Liar..” Hanbin scoffed but then Bobby could feel warm pair of lips kissing on his neck. Gently, like the flutters of butterfly wings. 

“I would’ve—I could..never imagine Sean to make that move on me, that thought never even crossed my mind, not even the slightest. He was my best friend, I only see him as that. Never once I felt that we could be more than just friends the way I was with you, the way I felt back then whenever I’m with you. I know he was just..lost and confused after his fiancé broke up with him for no apparent reason. He—”

“Sean called me earlier to apologize, it seems that Hyunwoo gave him my number. I’m no longer mad at you or him, I’m mad at myself. Why am I doubting you. I thought I fully trusted you but apparently there’s still a doubt in me everytime you—”

“And whenever those doubts arise, I’ll always be here to hold your hands. And kiss you, and comfort you, and make sure you know I’m not going anywhere. I get jealous too, Hanbin, I’m only human after all. So I understand why you feel the way you feel. I do have my doubts too. I fear that you will leave me someday, to start a family with someone else who can offer you what I’m not able to give. But then I’m willing to sacrifice anything to make you happy, and—“

“Stop it, Jiwon. You are my world, you know that. You’re everything I ever wanted and more.”

“As much as you might still have doubts about me, that’s how much I also fear of losing you. We love the same way, the same crazy way. You jump, I jump, right? Didn’t I tell you that couple days ago?”

“You’re my endgame, Jiwon.”

“The day I chose be with you, I knew there was no turning back. I just couldn’t be with anyone else. It was always you. I don’t want anyone else, I just want you. Don’t run away anymore ‘cos I’ll always find you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“..will you make up for this mess?” Hanbin released his hug so he could see Bobby straight in his eyes. 

“Anything you want, baby. Anything that will make you happy.”

“Let’s get matching tattoos. So everyone will know you’re mine.”

“…been thinking about that myself.”

“And on our next trip to the States, I wanna go to Fairfax. I wanna go to all the places u’ve gone to. I wanna see all the memories you’ve had, places you’ve been. I wish to know everything about you, Jiwon.. Im jealous of all the stories I don’t get to share, all those childhood dreams you shared with someone else..”

“…there’s no need to be jealous about when you already have all of me. You own my heart, Kim Hanbin.”

“Just don’t take me to the place where you had your first kiss,” Hanbin purposely ignored Bobby’s reply, in favor of hearing it again because Bobby loved to repeat and emphasize words that he thought Hanbin didn’t hear from time to time.

“Why..?”

“I don’t want to imagine it.”

“Silly.” Bobby couldn’t help but chuckle at another one of Hanbin’s random logic. 

“Your first kiss was with me. Thats how I want to imagine it.” Hanbin’s tone was playful, but it was indeed how he felt inside. 

He leaned back into Bobby’s embrace, comfortable in the warmth that Bobby radiated. The two strong arms that was hugging on him tight felt like it was shielding him from the cold, from the world. 

The food Bobby bought had gotten cold inside the crumpled paper bag, and the sky had gotten dark for sometime now. 

“I brought you some food, you haven’t eaten anything much haven’t you? Let’s go back to the car and eat, baby.” Bobby insisted. 

“Piggyback me to the car.” Hanbin spoke in a way that he knew Bobby could not refuse. 

“You gotta pay a ticket for this exclusive ride, Hanbin.”

And they kissed again, this time without all those heavy thoughts in their minds. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

Bobby touched Hanbin’s cheeks and it no longer felt cold, yet his desire to warm it up even more hadn’t disappear. He kept on kissing it, caressing it, biting it softly whenever he couldn’t help it.

They had the fireplace on, cuddling on the sofa in the living room area of their hotel room. This setting reminded them of home, with the matching fireplace and huge window on the side. But they both realized now that a place was just a place when they weren’t together, no matter how fancy, no matter how gorgeous the view it offered.

They came back to the hotel after a quick impromptu tattoo shop visit, they got lucky that one of the top tattoo artists in the shop happened to be accepting walk-ins that night. Both matching tattoos were etched on their lower back, lettering going down their spines, still raw and bleeding a little, wrapped in sterile bandages and needed to be cleaned in a couple hours time. 

“Stop kissing my cheeks and kiss me properly, Jiwon..” Hanbin whined to Bobby’s ears. 

Their moves were limited due to the newly done tattoos, Bobby had to carefully cradle Hanbin in his lap without placing his hand on Hanbin’s back. Meanwhile, he himself had to make sure his didn’t get too much friction from leaning on the sofa. Those tattoos only stung a little, so their concern wasn’t about the pain, but rather because they needed to avoid rubbing on the area to avoid the new ink from smudging and ruined the delicate lettering. 

“Hold on tight, baby,” Bobby had an idea. Without warning, he sat up and that kinda startled Hanbin who almost lost his balance. 

Bobby tried to sit them both down on the floor next to the fireplace, yet Hanbin’s legs were clinging on him tight as if wanting to be in this intimate position even longer. They took the spare blanket from the closet earlier and had laid it on the carpeted floor. 

Gently, Bobby coaxed Hanbin to release the grip by kissing on his bare chest, tongue started sucking on the collarbone and it made Hanbin softly moaned. Bobby knew all the spots that gave Hanbin a hard-on, especially the area around his sensitive part where only he got the privilege to touch. 

His fingers traced along Hanbin’s sculpted body gracefully, as if those fingers had a mind of their own and recognized every curves, every lines that made this body that kept giving him a lot of pleasure. His emotion could be felt through the tips of his fingers, Hanbin kept shivering as those light touches ignited his overwhelming desire to have him completely.

Hanbin started moaning even louder when Bobby suddenly sucked on his inner thigh, making a mark that reflected the possessiveness he often held inside. He started seeing stars, the moment those tender lips sucking on the sensitive nerves near his dick. Sucking and kissing it over and over again, he could feel the rawness on his skin that would surely bruise the morning after. 

His precum had been leaking like crazy from the stimulation, the wetness on the tip was visible on his brief. He almost complained because he wanted to pleasure Bobby too, but his words disappeared the moment Bobby’s warm tongue slid into his brief and sucking on his dick hard. 

Waves of pleasure made him forget everyhing for a while, all he felt was being loved so intensely, so relentlessly. Hanbin wound his fingers through Bobby’s hair, guiding the soft mouth to go deeper. He came into Bobby’s mouth, while screaming his name. Breathless, yet his senses registered all the soft kisses on his face. 

“I love you, Hanbin.” 

Hanbin could feel his hole being prepared slowly, a finger slid in and it felt really cold from the lube. He was still coming down from his orgasm yet his lips felt too lonely. So he reached out his arms and grabbed Bobby’s face, pulled it closer and kissed him deeply. Their tongues exchanged thousands of promises before, countless at that point. Yet the butterflies had never left, as if they had found a permanent place to stay in Hanbin’s and Bobby’s heart. 

Hanbin’s kisses carried out his suppressed moans, feeling more and more pleasure on his nether region. His hand travelled south, to find Bobby’s dick all hard against his stomach. He slid his hand up and down on the erected shaft, lips nibbling and sucking on each other still. Breaths hard against each other, it was as if the oxygen shared between them was burned away by their passion. 

Three fingers were inside him now, stretching and preparing for a much bigger thing to come. The blazing heat from the electric fireplace seemed to ignite their passion even more.

“Let me suck you too,” Hanbin almost sounded like he was pleading between his satisfied groans. 

Bobby got up and towered over him, brushing his thumb gently on Hanbin’s lips, before coaxing him to open his mouth to receive his hard-on. It was a sight to see, the way his was swallowed so prettily between Hanbin’s red cherry lips. Bobby bit his own lip in an attempt to control himself from thrusting into Hanbin’s warm and inviting mouth. 

Hanbin got teary eyed quick, the way he moved to pleasure Bobby. His gag reflex was a bit more sensitive and each time he deep-throated his lover, this reaction would happen. Bobby was quick to notice and stopped him, his overprotectiveness ran on full gear each time it happened. 

“I’m all right, let me finish you..” 

“No babe. It’s one thing when you cry out for pleasure, but I don’t like seeing you pushing yourself too hard..”

“Put it in me then, hurry Jiwon..release it in me..”

Bobby held Hanbin in his embrace, careful not to touch the tattoo. They were seated face to face with Hanbin straddling on top of his crotch so intimately, his throbbing hard on was ready to enter Hanbin, meanwhile Hanbin himself couldn’t wait to feel the pleasure once again. He could feel his insides twitching with anticipation. 

Bobby entered slowly, he let the lubed up tip guided itself into Hanbin’s insides. Hanbin hated the feeling of cold lube touching his skin, but that feeling only lasted a couple of second when it was replaced with intense pleasure of hard throbbing member entering him. Slowly, but surely it glided its way in followed with soft grunts from the two. They were breathing hard against each other in their kiss, as if sealing both of their fates. And once again, they were connected as one. 

Bobby started to move, pounding slowly at first but his pace got quick fast. A pair of warm lips crashed into him, as if begging him to slow down. Bobby turned down the request and letting those pair of cherry lips latched on to his neck, biting it harder, matching the way he moved. He could feel his skin break under those bites, and it stung more than the tattoo he just got. 

He endured the coming orgasm by changing his pace every so often, not wanting to finish so quickly. He slammed into Hanbin deeper and deeper, their position was giving him all the advantages he needed. 

Bobby knew they had to move to the bedroom if he wanted Hanbin to ride him next, so he muster up all of his strength and got up. His member was still throbbing inside Hanbin, who cried out in pleasure with every steps Bobby was making to the bedroom. 

“Did I hit your spot well, baby?” Bobby grinned in satisfaction.

Hanbin nodded, eyes closed, he was feeling too good to response properly. 

He licked Hanbin’s lips with his tongue, teasing sinfully, “I’ll make sure this is a night you won’t forget then,” 

Bobby changed his mind and leaned Hanbin against the hallway wall, careful to shield the tattoo from touching the wall, and proceeded to thrust into Hanbin in that position. 

The moans he heard was unlike anything Hanbin ever let out, and that one moment of pure orgasm made Hanbin so tight inside and Bobby finally cummed. 

With the strength he had left, Bobby managed to carry Hanbin onto bed, while he himself needed time to recuperate. 

“I love you Jiwon.” Hanbin said with a faint voice, still catching his breath. 

He rolled over next to Bobby to embrace him. Kissing on Bobby’s shoulder that had just carried him and helped gave him the most intense sex he had ever had. 

“…I love you too, so much.” Bobby fixed Hanbin’s sweaty hair away from his handsome face.

“If there are people inside those ferry wheels, they’ll surely be envious of you and me.” Hanbin remarked on the lighted up ferris wheel outside their bedroom that was still yet to be reopened. 

“Should we make those imaginary people jealous again? Hanbin, ride me.”

“Is this another one of your exclusive ride? If so, let me pay for the ticket.” 

And Hanbin’s kiss tasted even sweeter than last time.  
______________________________________________________________________________

**TUESDAY, September 21st, 2021 8:12 AM PDT**

“Hyung..Go meet Sean before we have to fly back to Seoul tonight. He’s your best friend after all, don’t let what happened ruin the past friendship and good memories you had. You two should straighten things out, I know he wants to explain…and I know you need it too.” 

They were having a breakfast Buffet at the hotel, Hanbin was happily munching on a piece of breakfast burrito while Bobby opted for cereals and yogurt. 

“You’re okay with this?”

“I know you belong with me and I’m with you.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________

_So gentlemen, what kinda design do you have in mind for your tattoos?_

_“Mine will be **You, to me.** And his will be **I, to you.** ” Bobby replied to the tattoo artist._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seattle will always be a city near and dear to me.The place where I left a piece of my heart behind. 
> 
> While the plot is totally fictional, the places mentioned are real. These are some of the spots that you can find on google to get a better idea of the setting:
> 
> Cherry Street Coffee House 700 1st Ave  
> Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe  
> Four Seasons Hotel Seattle - Deluxe Elliot Bay Suite  
> Ivar’s Fish Bar at Seattle Waterfront  
> Beecher’s Handmade Cheese at Pike Place Market  
> Pacific Place Seattle  
> Fremont Troll  
> Gorditos Mexican Restaurant  
> Sodo Park  
> Dick’s Drive In 115 Broadway E  
> The Gum Wall  
> Mecca Cafe 526 Queen Anne Ave N
> 
> I hope you enjoy this double chapter updates!!


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